Your tears are everything that's new.
She loves you the way you want to be loved. Here in the end, you are able to experience your body not the ways they insist you do, but [[as you really are|hold-want-moan-fuck-move-gorgeous]].
When she kisses you back, she's telling you your needs are real.
Why the hell not? You have all the time in the world.\n\nYou suck on her lip. She kisses the corner of your mouth. Her hands are on your shoulders. Your tongue is in her mouth again. Her breath is on your face. Her fingers are in your hair. Your noses are touching. You release a long sigh. A string of spit links your mouths.\n\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-slowly-again-and-again]]
Information so dense it can't be formed into words, so instead it's everywhere: [[in your ears|everywhere]] and [[in your mouth|everywhere]] and [[behind your eyelids|everywhere]] and [[beating in your chest|everywhere]] and [[burning between your legs|everywhere]] and [[hidden in your dreams|everywhere]].
You kiss her like you're falling, and she catches you.\n\nYou make a noise as you attach yourself to her mouth. It is:\n\n[[Desperate.|kiss-hungrily-desperate]]\n[[Like a growl.|kiss-hungrily-growl]]\n[[A whimper.|kiss-hungrily-whimper]]
Your fingers [[twine]] between hers. After all the forces that tried to keep you and her apart, maybe just holding her hand is [[enough|take-hold-enough]].
"I love you," you say, and the tone of your voice does more than those three tiny words could to carry everything implied, everything meant, everything encoded in that exhalation.\n\n"I love you too," she responds. "I love you so much."\n\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-softly-take-again]]\n[[Look into her eyes.|kiss-softly-take-look]]
Her teeth are in your neck. Denser than any word, they communicate so many things: [[pain]], [[pleasure]], [[history]], [[reality]].
She's real, inarguably. She takes up space. You let her into yours.\n\n<<display 'hold-smell-much'>>
You allow her to guide you down, kissing her chest, her belly, worshipful, devoted, greedy. You moan at being allowed to perform like this, at being given the space to externalize these needs, at her fingers [[tight in your hair|hold-want-kiss-kiss-down-tight]].
She growls. Pulls you from her neck by the hair. Slaps you across the cheek. You laugh. She lunges, biting your lip, moaning. You cry out, laughing more.\n\nIf only they'd found a way to bottle this energy, to power their engines with what's between the two of you, maybe it wouldn't be [[the end|kiss-fiercely-biting-back-end]].
The kind you write at the bottom of a letter, a real one, unmistakably in your handwriting. Love and kisses. Sincerely yours.
There's just [[so much|hold-smell-much]] here, encoded into her smell.
Her arms cradling you, her hands on your back: they communicate so much to you.\n\nYou want to communicate back. You touch her [[thighs]], her [[hips]], her [[legs]].
Her smile becomes a grin and she pushes you down, hands pinned under hers.\n\n"Please," you beg:\n\n[["Please make me come."|tell-fuck-come]]\n[["Please bite me."|tell-fuck-bite]]\n[["Please."|tell-fuck-please]]
How can someone feel this intensely about another person? Maybe it's that way every time, with every single person. That doesn't make it any less real.\n\n<<display 'kiss-fiercely-crying-too'>>
Like she always has. Like you both always have.\n\nAnd you know what?\n\nYou've never fallen off.
As you kiss your fingers feel for her [[neck]], her [[ears]], her [[hair]].
You spent a long time being afraid of the ways you desire, the things that you need. Here, at the end, there's no time for that. There's only her hand on your back, and her neck under your lips.\n\n<<display 'hold-want-kiss-kiss'>>
You spent a lifetime sending out signals you were scared would be misinterpreted, misunderstood, garbed, absorbed, allowed to pass unregistered into the cold of space.\n\nNow you know.\n\nThe signal was never lost.\n\n[[You grind against her.|hold-want-grind-eagerly]]
"Please," you repeat, over and over, like a litany. "Please." You want so much. You want everything. "Please." You want all of her. You want to be [[alive]]. "Please."
Wounds aren't easy to heal.\n\n[[Healing|healing]] isn't easy to allow.
You push your leg between hers, grinding against her, and she digs her fingers into your back and it hurts and you [[cry out|bang]] and you bite her lip.
It's so unassuming, her blushing, so sincere. You've disarmed her. Or have you given her the freedom to disarm, here at the end, where there's nothing left to guard against?\n\n<<display 'kiss-softly-blushing-face'>>
So many people and institutions tried to pull you two apart.\n\nThey all failed.
[[The way it feels to share a bed with her.|hold-smell-much-bed]] [[The memory of her smell when she's far away.|hold-smell-much-away]] [[The reminder that she's made of skin, and hair, and muscle.|hold-smell-much-skin]] [[The way she smells during sex.|hold-smell-much-sex]]
This one, this record of you on her skin, is never going to fade away.
[[Kiss her eyelids.|kiss-softly-blushing-eyelids]]\n[[Kiss her forehead.|kiss-softly-blushing-forehead]]\n[[Kiss her lips again.|kiss-softly-blushing-lips]]
It's all gonna be gone soon, but when it goes she can go with your mark on her neck, the [[last written history|kiss-fiercely-biting-mark-history]] of the world.
Not with a whimper.\n\nWith a bang.
[[How much capital does it take to change a light bulb?|kiss-fiercely-laughing-funny-joke]]\n[[What's a thousand cops at the bottom of the ocean?|kiss-fiercely-laughing-funny-joke]]\n[[Why did the chicken cross the road?|kiss-fiercely-laughing-funny-joke]]
You start moving against her, [[looking into her eyes|hold-want-grind-eyes]]. She puts her hands on your hips and starts regulating your motion, having you [[grind against her leg|hold-want-grind-leg]].
You kiss her:\n\n[[Softly.|kiss-softly]]\n[[Slowly.|kiss-slowly]]\n[[Fiercely.|kiss-fiercely]]\n[[Hungrily.|kiss-hungrily]]
Safe. Even when you're not. Even when your anxieties won't go away. Loved.\n\n<<display 'hold-smell-much'>>
You're a feral creature, you allow yourself the clarity to be driven by what you need, shedding [[cages|kiss-hungrily-growl-cages]] like outgrown clothing.
Or maybe that energy is too strong to be contained. Maybe this is the meltdown, maybe the singularity is what happens when the two of you join.
She is:\n\n[[Holding on tight.|take-kiss-hand-tight]]\n[[Holding on for dear life.|take-kiss-hand-life]]\n[[Holding on like she'll never let go.|take-kiss-hand-never]]
She leans in and puts her lips against yours, tongues finding each other in the darkness like a thing and its reflection joining back into one. Words are over, language is destroyed, all that's left is the one true language, god's language, which finds expression at last in your:\n\n[[sigh|tell-kiss-sigh]] [[moan|tell-kiss-moan]] [[look|tell-kiss-look]] [[silence]]
You [[put your arms around her|kiss-softly-look-pull-arms]], nestle your head between her shoulder and neck, where it has always fit. You [[breathe in her scent|kiss-softly-look-pull-scent]].
You sink hard teeth into her neck.\n\nYou:\n[[Want to leave a mark.|kiss-fiercely-biting-mark]]\n[[Want to hear her moan.|kiss-fiercely-biting-moan]]\n[[Want her to get you back.|kiss-fiercely-biting-back]]
Heat, like a glow. You can feel her shivering under your fingers, the way her body is alive to your touch, as your hands circle around to hold her [[hips]].
And it will be.
What weird, intricate little mazes of skin, but the way she shivers when your fingers run along their outsides to her [[scalp|hair]].
She responds to the sound of your need, letting her fingertips graze and [[tease|hold-want-moan-tease]] you.\n\n[[The world's gonna end, I need you to fuck me now!|hold-want-moan-fuck]]
[img[whenwehaveeachother.png]]\n\nInspired by an image I found [[on tumblr|]].\n[[Restart|Beginning]]
Everything is wiped away.\n\n\n\n\n\n<html><small><small><i>queers in love at the end of the world / anna anthropy 2013</i></small></small></html>\n\n[[Afterword]]\n[[Restart|Beginning]]
Not an explosion, not a sepulchre slamming closed, but the sound of lust, of her lust for you.\n\nGood night, world.
She's a wounded animal too. And as much as you are allowing yourself to be healed by her touch, her lips on yours, you are allowing her [[to be healed|healing]] by the act of submitting to her touch, to her care.
"YES!!"\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite'>>
And you are.
Her hair is greasy but also inviting, like fur, like a soft second skin beneath your fingers as your hands run down to her [[neck]].
You moan into her mouth. Fuck everyone, none of you can stop us now. This isn't need: this is affirmation. This is the final answer and the answer is YES.\n\n[[Grind against her.|tell-kiss-moan-grind]]\n[[Put her hand up your skirt.|tell-kiss-moan-skirt]]
"Ah Ah Ah!"\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite'>>
These arms are not bullet-proof, they're not going to weather the truncheons of cops. They can't muffle the words of people who want to hurt you, and they can't block the silences of people who hurt you that way either. They can't stand in the way of a fire or a tidal wave. They won't stop the end of the world.\n\n[[And yet you are protected.|hold-protected2]]
In her eyes you are yourself, not as they want you to be, but as you want to be.\n\n[[Look deeper.|eyes]]
Every part of you is [[buzzing]].
She looks into your eyes while you guide her hand under your skirt. You hold onto her arm while she touches you, not so you can pull her hand away, but so you can keep it there.\n\nConsent is the only place [[we are free]].
What a powerful mode of expression.
In the darkness, a light.
As she bites you, her hand is up your skirt, and she's touching you, communicating it the only language that still makes sense, that ever made sense.\n\n"[[God]]," you cry out.
You make out in the ashes of everything. Your tongue is in her mouth while the cities burn. Her fingers pull your hair while dollars turn to dust and laws that were too small to hold you blow away like old newspaper.\n\nYou're:\n[[Laughing.|kiss-fiercely-laughing]]\n[[Crying.|kiss-fiercely-crying]]\n[[Biting her neck.|kiss-fiercely-biting]]\n[[Horny.|kiss-fiercely-horny]]
If last time you gently left an offering, this time you prostrate yourself.\n\nYou come to each other like a someone meeting her reflection, but you're by no means identical - each of you is powerfully unique. But each of you is also the surface that makes it possible, maybe for the first time, for the other to see herself, and to know that she's real.\n\nMwah.
All of it, finally. It's the biggest relief you can imagine. You used to hike out to the landfill, sit on a cliff looking over the formless sea, and let yourself imagine that civilization was finally over, the wheels of empire ground to a halt, the truncheons dropped where they were lifted.\n\n<<display 'kiss-fiercely-crying-too'>>
She moans as your lips travel her neck and then her hand is in your hair, holding, and you're trembling and attentive. She guides you:\n\n[[Up.|hold-want-kiss-kiss-up]]\n[[Down.|hold-want-kiss-kiss-down]]
Maybe it's [[the last sound the world will ever hear|kiss-fiercely-biting-moan-world-end]].
<<start_timer 10>>In the end, like you always said, it's just the two of you together. You have ten seconds, but there's so much you want to do: [[kiss]] her, [[hold]] her, [[take]] her hand, [[tell]] her.
It's mind-stopping, the end. But so often it felt like the end, so often, terrified, you took solace in her arms and her words and the memory of these things when they weren't available. Now that it's actually the end, it almost feels like a relief.\n\n<<display 'kiss-fiercely-crying-too'>>
Let the houses burn, the cities, and all the countries, and all the governments. They never sheltered you. The only shelter you found was in these arms, in this touch. Let the end of the world come. You're home.
You feel:\n\n[[Possessed.|real]]\n[[Wanted.|real]]\n[[Desired.|real]]\n[[Loved.|real]]\n[[Needed.|real]]\n[[Beautiful.|real]]\n[[Hot.|real]]\n[[Wet.|real]]
In her eyes, you are you, the way you really are, not the way you see yourself when you look into the mirror, your face and body distorted by learned self-hatred. The real you. She looks into your eyes because they are mirrors and in them she can glimpse what she, too, really looks like.
Shining and darting, you see lots of things in her eyes: fears, hopes, shared history, each one tugging at her, each one a road she could walk forever. But she keeps her gaze there with you, and her eyes still like a pool, and what you see there then is [[understanding]].
Smooch smooch.\n\n<<display 'kiss-softly-blushing-face'>>
You look into her [[eyes]].
Every part of you is alive.
Who gives a shit? There's no more capital, no more cops, and no more roads.\n\nThat's the [[punchline]].
You come to her quietly like someone bringing a gift, and you place it gently at the altar of her lips. You sit back, [[take her hand|kiss-softly-take]], and [[look into her eyes|kiss-softly-look]]. Her cheeks are [[blushing|kiss-softly-blushing]].
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Her nose is in your hair, inhaling you, and her hand is moving down your back, reciprocating affection, making it okay for you to [[want her|hold-want-kiss-want]] the [[way you do|hold-want-kiss-way]].
"I'll never let go of you again," she says, and it's true. All that's left here at the end are true things. And truest of all is your body in her arms.\n\nShe holds you like:\n[[...she's big and you're small.|tell-hold-small]]\n[['re home now.|tell-hold-home]]\n[[...she can't let go.|tell-hold-letgo]]\n[['s going to be alright.|tell-hold-alright]]
Or maybe this version has been with you, along with the version of yourself you're conscious of - shapeless, awkward, weird - the two competing realities in flux.\n\nObserving you, she actualizes you.\n\n[[You grind against her.|hold-want-grind-eagerly]]
A [[wounded animal|kiss-hungrily-whimper-wounded]] isn't easy to comfort, lashing out at those who would touch her. And you've done your share of lashing out. Even at her.\n\nBut here, you are allowing her to [[lick your wounds|kiss-hungrily-whimper-lick]].
She's self-conscious about fucking when she's not clean. I like it when you're not clean, you tell her. I like the way you smell.\n\n<<display 'hold-smell-much'>>
Your hand slides onto hers, [[squeezes|kiss-softly-take-squeeze]] it. She squeezes back.\n\n[[Tell her you love her.|kiss-softly-take-love]]\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-softly-take-again]]\n[[Look into her eyes.|kiss-softly-take-look]]
She's working you, and it's so good, and the weight of her body on yours, and the way her hands know you, and you're [[crying out|yes]] "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
You see her - you really see her. Free of construction, artifice or coolness, she allows you to witness her unprotected and vulnerable. It is important, at the end, that someone do, that someone acknowledge her and accept her as she truly is.\n\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-softly-take-again]]
"I love you," you tell her again. "I love you."\n\n"I love you, [[I love you|tell-love-love]]."
You curl up in her arms,\n\nSafe.
So many things in her smell - coffee and hair dye, yeah, but also memory, associations that run wild and take you back to a hundred places at the same time. [[History.|kiss-softly-look-pull-scent-history]] Her scent kept you company when circumstances kept you from being together - you carried her smell with you, and it came to you at odd times and reminded you of her presence.
Is this healing?\n\nYes.\nNo.
When you're done you look at the [[mark|hold-want-bite-bite-mark]] you've left on her.
She's crying too. It's hard not to, when someone you love is [[bawling]] uncontrollably.
<<silently>>\n<<display "Timer Addon">>\n<<set_timer_mode "display">>\n<<set_timer_param "End">>\n<<endsilently>>[[Begin.|Beginning]]
[[Breathe out.|hold-breath-in]]
Violently, hungrily, you want to hand yourself over, you want to be her slut, you want to be fucked, marked, used, burned to the ground. And you will never feel guilty about that again.\n\n<<display 'hold-want-kiss-kiss'>>
You touch her body and it's trembling, or you are. Her [[hips]], her [[legs]].
Smooch.\n\n<<display 'kiss-softly-blushing-face'>>
None of you got to keep any of it in the end.\n\nNone of you were worth shit.
You know, it really does.
You let her. You permit yourself to be the lover she sees you as, a being worthy of desire, of lust, of tenderness. You allow this [[transformation|hold-want-grind-leg-transformation]].\n\n[[You grind against her eagerly.|hold-want-grind-eagerly]]
You take her hand and put it up your skirt, and she [[laughs]], and she starts touching you.
She [[cries out|hold-want-bite-cries]] / [[moans|hold-want-bite-moans]] / [[screams||hold-want-bite-screams]] / [[says "yes!"|hold-want-bite-yes]] / [[says "harder!"||hold-want-bite-harder]] when your teeth sink into her neck.
Your fingers [[twine]] between hers.\n\n[[Tell her you love her.|kiss-softly-take-love]]\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-softly-take-again]]\n[[Look into her eyes.|kiss-softly-take-look]]
Her legs are so strong, machines that carry her through the world, but the way they consent to your touch, the way they open to let your hands in to her [[thighs]].
Fuck yeah. You press your body against hers, your crotch against her leg. Her hand is on your ass, pulling you against her. Her other hand is in your hair. [[You want it up your skirt.|kiss-fiercely-horny-skirt]]
"I love you," you tell her.\n\n"I love you too," she says, and then she gives you a smile. The very last one, so it's the one that counts.\n\nYou say:\n[["Kiss me, please."|tell-kiss]]\n[["Don't let go of me."|tell-hold]]\n[["Fuck me, now."|tell-fuck]]\n[["I love you."|tell-love]]
You grind against her, moaning and laughing into each other's mouths between kisses. You take her wrist and she lets you lower her hand under your skirt. She scratches your thigh hard, and you cry out what is moan but also a laugh.\n\n"[[Yeah|kiss-fiercely-horny-skirt-yeah]]," she breathes.
Worlds. Galaxies. [[Universes|forever]].
She puts her arms around you also and holds you in them, tiny. You close your eyes and nestle into her, safe. There's a sound - is she crying? You're flattered that, in the end, you were able to make her feel as safe as she makes you - safe enough to cry.\n\n[[Are you crying too?|kiss-softly-look-pull-arms-cry]]
"Yes," she says, and then her hand is up your skirt, [[touching you|tell-fuck-come2]], and she's in your ear, going "yes, yes," over and over, our final broadcast. Our final transmission. It's not no. It's Yes.
The last history of the world will be written on your bodies, not on anything so crude as paper, not in anything as abstract as words. It will not be a history of empires, of borders, of kings and killers. It will be a history of your struggle to reclaim your bodies, your lives, your desires, yourselves.\n\nHistory is written by the victors.
She pushes you down, putting a hand under your skirt. You [[guide her|hold-want-moan-fuck-guide]]. You [[move against her hand|hold-want-moan-fuck-move]].
You signal your desire, your want, your need with your eyes, and you can see, in her eyes, that [[the signal is received|hold-want-grind-eyes-signal]], understood, acknowledged.\n\n[[You grind against her eagerly.|hold-want-grind-eagerly]]\n
We are free.
You give her your lust, your need. You're telling her that she is worthy of lust, that she is worthy of being needed.\n\n[[When she kisses you back,|kiss-hungrily-desperate-gift-back]]
Now the only laws are the boundaries you set together.\n\nShe hisses back to you. When you share a kiss it's like a meal. This is the only nation.
You think about alien archaeologists five million years from now finding two queer bodies pressed against each other mid-fuck, putting them on display in a museum as the only remaining specimens of humanity.\n\nUnfamiliar with human anatomy, will they reconstruct you as some new being, joined at the thighs?
This is the only home in which you ever felt truly safe, the one you built in her arms.\n\nIn her embrace, you are intensely aware of:\n\n[[Her smell.|hold-smell]]\n[[Her touch.|hold-touch]]\n[[How protected you feel.|hold-protected]]\n[[How much you want her.|hold-want]]\n[[Her breathing.|hold-breath]]
[[And yet you will be fine.|hold-protected5]]
Up the slope of her neck, your kisses growing hungrier until your mouth latches onto hers and her tongue is in yours, her fingers [[tight in your hair|hold-want-kiss-kiss-up-tight]].
Her tongue wrestles with yours, inscribing messages that will never be seen in a language that is true. As ever, scrawling messages [[in the darkness|darkness]].
Every part of you is [[humming]].
And you are.\n\nThis is the place.
What happens when the unstoppable object meets the immovable force?
Their expectations, their violence, their laws, their judgement. You have prowled through them, stalked, crept, been tripped and snared, and escaped them in order to get [[to her|kiss-hungrily-growl-cages-escaped]].
You repeat it over and over, "I love you," till the words lose meaning, and all that's left is the feeling, your bodies together, your fingers interwoven, your voices in each other's ears, a steady noise.\n\n[[Like the sea.|ssss]]
You lick the mark where you bit her. She hisses and moans.\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining'>>
It finds you, it springs at you from nowhere, just to remind you.\n\n<<display 'hold-smell-much'>>
It's taken time: being able to identify your needs. Being able to own them, to acknowledge them as belonging to you. And, finally, being able to give them away, as a [[gift|kiss-hungrily-desperate-gift]].
Maybe it's enough to know that they lost.
The mark on your neck turns your skin into a written history, and her tongue is in it, not letting you forget.\n\n<<display 'tell-fuck-bite-touch'>>
God damn.
and you start laughing too. Laughing at [[cops|laughs2]], at [[warmakers|laughs2]], at [[politicians|laughs2]], at [[colonialists|laughs2]], at [[parents|laughs2]], at [[everyone|laughs2]] who ever hurt you, who made you less free.
You pull her in to a kiss.\n\nA million sensations: her hand [[squeezing yours tight|take-kiss-hand]], her lips [[pressing against yours|take-kiss-lips]], her tongue [[finding your tongue|take-kiss-tongue]], her breath [[humming all around you|take-kiss-breath]].
Your body responds to her touch, arching against her, gripping her tighter. Showing her that everything she's giving you is being received, is valued. Your every part and piece awakens at her touch, becomes more sensitive, responsive, [[attuned]].
Why the hell not?\n\nYou have all the time in the world.
Like a fucking baby, the kind that comes in short loud bursts and no one could tell if you're laughing or crying, if it weren't for the hot tears burning your cheeks.\n\nYou're crying because:\n[[It's finally over.|kiss-fiercely-crying-over]]\n[[You're terrified.|kiss-fiercely-crying-terrified]]\n[[You love her so much.|kiss-fiercely-crying-love]]
[[It looks like a star.|hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining-star]]\n[[It's a signature.|hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining-signature]]\n[[The aftermath of some great upheaval.|hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining-upheaval]]\n[[You wanted to leave your mark.|hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining-mark]]
Flashes and ghosts flicker. Then she recenters on you, on the reality of your presence with her, and she smiles.\n\n[[Pull her close.|kiss-softly-look-pull]]\n[[Maintain eye contact.|kiss-softly-look-maintain]]
You don't have to say anything. She knows what you want, she knows how your body works; you taught her just as you taught yourself, unlearning so much, so many lies that made you feel fake. Now, in the end, she's up your skirt, touching your body in ways that make you feel real. There's no one left to lie to you, there's just you and her and what's between you. Your body is trembling but you're not afraid. You beg her for more, without words, because she understands your body as well as she understands you, and at her touch those are finally allowed to be the same thing.\n\n[[This is the way the world ends.|bang]]
It's like [[coming home|kiss-softly-blushing-lips-home]], the way your mouth joins hers. You slide your arms around her hips and she slides hers around your back.
"Hhhhhhhh!"\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite'>>
Her [[hair]], her [[ears]], your fingertips trace this landscape for the last time, making sure. Yeah, you've memorized it.
When you woke up panicked and anxious, in the middle of the night, grim certainties bearing down on you, you would - when you were lucky enough to be with her, and that wasn't always - reach over and touch her, and feel her breathing, soft and unhurried, and let it [[calm you|hold-breath-in]].\n\nThis is one of those times.
This is your body, being transformed by her intention.\n\n<<display 'tell-fuck-bite-touch'>>
You kiss like you have all the time in the world, which you do, when you're in her mouth. You draw your tongue slowly into her mouth and she receives it with a soft exhalation of air, letting it roll against hers, a mutual, wet exchange of touch. You moan into her mouth. Her teeth catch your bottom lip as you finally disengage and you make a short, sharp noise with a hard edge. You lick your lips, looking at her.\n\n[[Kiss her again.|kiss-slowly-again]]
You take her hand in yours, giving it a squeeze.\n\n[[Look into her eyes.|take-look]]\n[[Kiss her.|take-kiss]]\n[[Put her hand up your skirt.|take-fuck]]\n[[Just hold her hand.|take-hold]]
Nothing has ever been dearer.
You close your eyes and that's all. Your sigh is the last word on the matter.\n\n[[Touch her hair?|tell-kiss-sigh-hair]]\n[[Touch her body?|tell-kiss-sigh-body]]
You want to be wearing her mark on your skin when the end comes. Language is over, the only language remaining is the one that the two of you have been inventing, writing on each other's skin with [[touch|tell-fuck-bite-touch]] and with [[teeth|tell-fuck-bite-teeth]].
The pain is real and you asked for it.\n\n<<display 'tell-fuck-bite-touch'>>
Brown and black.\n\n[[Lick it.|hold-want-bite-bite-mark-lick]]\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite-mark-divining'>>
Words were invented so empires could write history books. This last, true history of the world will be written in [[touch|take-kiss-lips-touch]].
You:\n\n[[Rub against her.|hold-want-grind]]\n[[Kiss her neck.|hold-want-kiss]]\n[[Bite her neck.|hold-want-bite]]\n[[Moan your need.|hold-want-moan]]
"Harder! Please!!"\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite'>>
Like witches, cackling as the spirits dance free through the streets. Neither of you can stop laughing. I mean, it's [[pretty fucking funny|kiss-fiercely-laughing-funny]].
She does. Maybe it's more of a growl. Maybe it's [[the best sound in the world|kiss-fiercely-biting-moan-world]].
You respond:\n[["Yeah."|yeah]]\n[["Oh yeah."|yeah]]\n[["Hell yeah."|yeah]]\n[["Fuck yeah."|yeah]]\n[[Not with anything that can be represented in words.|yeah]]
The end is scary, but these aren't tears of sadness, or of fear.
<<silently>>\n<<set $TimerAddon = \nfunction()\n{\n var div_timer_container = document.createElement('div');\n div_timer_container.setAttribute('id', 'timer');\n\n var div_timer_canvas = document.createElement('canvas');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('id', 'timer_canvas');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('width', '150');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('height', '150');\n div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;\n div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_canvas);\n \n var div_timer_text = document.createElement('span');\n div_timer_text.setAttribute('id', 'timer_text');\n div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_text);\n\n var Timer_Active = false;\n var Timer_Paused = false;\n var Timer_Mode = 'none';\n var Timer_Param = "";\n var Timer_Max = 0;\n var Timer_Now = 0;\n var Timer_Seconds = 0;\n \n var div_jonah_floater = document.getElementById('floater');\n if(div_jonah_floater) div_jonah_floater.appendChild(div_timer_container);\n\n var div_sugarcane_menu = document.getElementById('sidebar');\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) div_sugarcane_menu.appendChild(div_timer_container);\n\n function StartTimer(val)\n {\n Timer_Active = true;\n Timer_Paused = false;\n Timer_Max = val;\n Timer_Now = val;\n = 'block';\n = 'block';\n }\n\n function StopTimer()\n {\n Timer_Active = false;\n = 'none';\n = 'none';\n }\n\n function PauseTimer()\n {\n Timer_Paused = true;\n }\n\n function ResumeTimer()\n {\n Timer_Paused = false;\n }\n\n function SetTimerText(text)\n {\n div_timer_text.innerHTML = text;\n }\n\n function SetTimerMode(mode)\n {\n if(mode == 'display')\n {\n Timer_Mode = 'display';\n }\n else if(mode == 'restart')\n {\n Timer_Mode = 'restart';\n }\n else Timer_Mode = 'none';\n }\n\n function SetTimerParam(param)\n {\n Timer_Param = param;\n }\n\n function OnTimerEnd()\n {\n StopTimer();\n if(Timer_Mode == 'restart')\n {\n state.restart();\n if(Timer_Param) alert(Timer_Param);\n window.location.reload(true);\n \n } \n else if(Timer_Mode == 'display')\n {\n state.display(Timer_Param[0]);\n }\n }\n\n function OnTimerTick()\n {\n if(Timer_Active && !Timer_Paused)\n {\n Timer_Now = Timer_Now - 0.1;\n\n if(Timer_Now < 10) Timer_Seconds = 10;\n if(Timer_Now < 9) Timer_Seconds = 9;\n if(Timer_Now < 8) Timer_Seconds = 8;\n if(Timer_Now < 7) Timer_Seconds = 7;\n if(Timer_Now < 6) Timer_Seconds = 6;\n if(Timer_Now < 5) Timer_Seconds = 5;\n if(Timer_Now < 4) Timer_Seconds = 4;\n if(Timer_Now < 3) Timer_Seconds = 3;\n if(Timer_Now < 2) Timer_Seconds = 2;\n if(Timer_Now < 1) Timer_Seconds = 1;\n\n if(Timer_Now <= 0) Timer_Now = 0;\n \n var context = div_timer_canvas.getContext("2d");\n div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;\n\n var x = div_timer_canvas.width / 2;\n var y = div_timer_canvas.height / 2;\n var radius = 65;\n var startAngle = 1.5 * Math.PI;\n \n var endAngle = (1.5 + (2 / Timer_Max * Timer_Now)) * Math.PI;\n var counterClockwise = false;\n\n context.beginPath();\n context.arc(x, y, radius, startAngle, endAngle, counterClockwise);\n context.lineWidth = 15;\n if(div_jonah_floater) context.strokeStyle = "black";\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.strokeStyle = "#BBBBBB";\n context.stroke();\n\n context.font = 'bold 40px sans-serif';\n if(div_jonah_floater) context.fillStyle = "black";\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.fillStyle = "#BBBBBB";\n\n if( Timer_Seconds == 10 ) context.fillText(Timer_Seconds, 50, 87);\n else context.fillText(Timer_Seconds, 63, 87);\n\n if(Timer_Now <= 0) OnTimerEnd();\n }\n }\n\n setInterval(function(){ OnTimerTick(); }, 100); \n\n macros['start_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n StartTimer(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['stop_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n StopTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['pause_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n PauseTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['resume_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n ResumeTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_text'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerText(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_mode'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerMode(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_param'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerParam(val);\n }\n }\n\n}\n>>\n<<print $TimerAddon()>>\n<<endsilently>>
The last and final history of this world.
[[And yet you are loved.|hold-protected4]]
[[And yet you are safe.|hold-protected3]]
And yet everything is right.
Smooth but also strong, you can feel the muscles underneath. As you stroke her neck your hands touch her [[ears]].
[[Breathe in.|hold-breath-out]]
And you know what?\n\nShe never will.
You feel:\n\n[[Useful.|real]]\n[[Hot.|real]]\n[[Powerful.|real]]\n[[Submissive.|real]]\n[[Cherished.|real]]\n[[Beautiful.|real]]\n[[Devoted.|real]]\n[[Wet.|real]]
The way you feel in your belly - fear, pleasure, need, lust - is real.\n\n<<display 'tell-fuck-bite-touch'>>
The punchline is it's just the two of you, together, at the end. Laughing your heads off.
"Aaahh fuck!"\n\n<<display 'hold-want-bite-bite'>>
The mystery that never stops fascinating, how perfectly your hands seem to fit on her hips. You can feel her trembling a little as your hands slide over them, down to her [[legs]].