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an open letter to destructoid on jim sterling’s misogyny

Editors at Destructoid:

This may have already been brought to your attention, but I wanted to make sure you were aware of an exchange that happened on Twitter Tuesday night between Jim Sterling, whom you employ to write and produce videos, and my girlfriend, Daphny (Twitter account “daphaknee”). Here is a brief list of things Jim Sterling called my girlfriend during that exchange:

a cunt
an attention-seeking little bitch
an embarrassment to her gender
a “feminazi slut”

He also told her to ask her “husband for permission” before using the computer, which I, as her girlfriend, find kind of funny. For reference, here are some screenshots taken by various Twitter users of some of Jim Sterling’s tweets:

At some point after the exchange, Jim changed his Twitter bio to read, “My Tweets are MINE and do not reflect the opinions of my contractors.” Perhaps this satisfies you. It shouldn’t.

There’s an obvious misogynist tone to Jim’s interactions with my girl: “cunt,” “attention-seeking bitch,” “feminazi slut,” “ask your husband for permission” – these are all GENDERED insults that bespeak Jim’s attitude towards women as a man of privilege in a culture (gaming culture) where open hostility, name-calling and slut-shaming of women is not only the norm but is flagrantly practiced by its most public figures. Immediately after and during the exchange, in fact, a number of Jim’s Twitter followers began tweeting at Daphny and searching her blog for material for personal attacks. Many of them called her a “faux-feminist” or “feminazi,” a label that Jim applied to her in his tweets – she never identified herself as a feminist.

I’m asking you, as a fellow journalist and as a woman, to say that it’s not okay to perpetrate those attitudes which keep women feeling unsafe within the community and culture of games. I’m asking you not to give a platform to a man who casually calls women “attention-seeking bitches” and “feminazi sluts.”

Jim will argue, if he hasn’t already, that Daphny provoked him. She certainly did. But are you comfortable giving space on your website to a man who, when threatened by a woman, turns to misogynist name-calling? Is Destructoid happy with a gaming status quo where women are treated with hostility and antagonism?

I’m not.

anna anthropy


  1. Wow… I’ve heard some mean spirited stuff on twitter, but comments like that are pretty over the top.

    True it is his personal twitter, but that certainly reflects poorly on the company who employs him.

    2/3/2011 at 7:36 pm | permalink
  2. InTheMiddle wrote:

    This posting seems to lack merit and newsworthiness. If Jim had replied to your girlfriend’s provocations with a learned discussion on women in the gaming industry, that would be noteworthy.

    However, your girlfriend agitated an individual known for his acerbic, biting nature and chauvinism. For you and her to be upset at his response is rather irrational. This is like walking behind a horse, slapping it on the buttocks and being bewildered that it kicked you 10 feet into the air.

    If your goal is truly to bring about a positive change in perceptions of women in the gaming community and industry, then I believe you and your girlfriend are going about it in the wrong way. Complaining about a problem rarely fixes it. Complaining about a problem you, or in this instance, your girlfriend, created and then demanding that someone else should fix it is merely hypocrisy.

    2/3/2011 at 7:37 pm | permalink
  3. The John wrote:

    As a QA tester for one of the major game publishers, I’ve definitely seen a fair share of misogyny in the workplace. A lot of guys all talking about how they wanna fuck the new girl. Or how she’s “such a bitch” if she doesn’t give any of them the time of day. I hope he gets syphilis from the porn booths that i’m sure he frequents.

    2/3/2011 at 7:37 pm | permalink
  4. While what he said is like crown jewels in the royal headgear of douchedom, I don’t think someone’s personal comments should get them FIRED, unless he’s actually disrupting the business of the company. I know I wouldn’t want to be fired for an off-color remark I might have made while playing a heated videogame, or something I wrote in satirical/parodic context (Not that his fall under those two categories) if they were overheard by someone in the category of my employer. I mean, it’s one thing to hate a guy because he says mean-spirited and stupid things, but it’s another to get him fired for it.

    I agree with you needed to take action against him, but I really think getting him fired’s a bit…overkill.

    2/3/2011 at 7:43 pm | permalink
  5. daphny wrote:

    i think the getting kicked in the face analogy gives sterling too much credit, its more like giving someone whos already incontinent ex lax
    he just shit all over himself a lot more than usual

    2/3/2011 at 7:49 pm | permalink
  6. SonOfCann wrote:

    A simple case of two people needing to grow up, nothing more.

    2/3/2011 at 7:56 pm | permalink
  7. Ken Lowery wrote:

    “Inthemiddle”: “You knew he was a misogynistic ass, so really if you think about it it’s your fault he’s a misogynistic ass” is not a compelling argument.

    “lacks merit and newsworthiness”? Dude. Come on.

    2/3/2011 at 8:01 pm | permalink
  8. Lucas wrote:

    Didn’t expect Jim Sterling to say stupid shit like that, guess I was wrong. Pity too, considering Destructoid is such a great website.

    2/3/2011 at 8:05 pm | permalink
  9. YellowMagicOrchestra wrote:

    Sure, Jim was out of line and should be reprimanded somehow, but playing the Misogyny card here when she provoked him is going a bit too far.

    Honestly, if Daphny is going to start fights or whatever, then you should let her finish them.

    2/3/2011 at 8:13 pm | permalink
  10. InTheMiddle wrote:

    “Ken”: It’s not her fault he’s a misogynistic ass, but it’s her fault for provoking him. It’s not newsworthy when someone in the gaming community acts in a manner that is “the norm” (Anna’s words). This is a clear case of reporting “dog bites man”.

    Anna and Daphny should probably focus on a more constructive way to change the community’s opinions of women. Exhibiting childish behavior and then getting on a high horse about it is a pointless exercise.

    2/3/2011 at 8:18 pm | permalink
  11. I see a trend here. People tend to say stupid things when they get into a fight, and people tend to overreact. I’m beginning to think both people did both here.

    2/3/2011 at 8:23 pm | permalink
  12. Brimstone wrote:

    ““Ken”: It’s not her fault he’s a misogynistic ass, but it’s her fault for provoking him”

    Blaming the victim. Classy

    2/3/2011 at 8:24 pm | permalink
  13. Austin wrote:

    Everyone makes mistakes, but someone in Jim’s position should know that he can’t just go saying whatever he wants on his twitter account. Being e-famous doesn’t give you a pass to say whatever you want in a public forum.

    2/3/2011 at 8:33 pm | permalink
  14. YellowMagicOrchestra wrote:

    @Brimstone They’re both at fault here. To think that one person is more right than the other here makes you a fucking idiot.

    2/3/2011 at 8:34 pm | permalink
  15. EL BRAD wrote:

    Really, why are those insults misogynistic? The comment about the husband thing was only thrown in the fray because he assumed she was a feminist and wanted to taunt her. If I wanted to offend a feminist, I would probably do the same. And, to be honest, she
    posted an obscene drawing of him and David Jaffe that, while obviously a joke, seemed completely unnecessary. So he retaliated with insults, that, while obviously a little but out of line, in no way indicated him being a misogynist.

    2/3/2011 at 8:36 pm | permalink
  16. InTheMiddle wrote:

    Brimstone: I’m blaming a victim who made herself a victim. If she didn’t like Jim’s responses, she, at any point in the conversation, could have ceased replying. She chose not to.

    The letter also makes a mountain out of a mole hill. Jim is not really a “man of privilege” in gaming culture. He’s just a man who plays video games all day and writes about them on a blog. Is that considered privileged these days? The only privilege he has over Anna is that more people view his writing than hers. He’s not a gaming William Randolph Hearst.

    Drop all the indignation and go play some video games.

    2/3/2011 at 8:39 pm | permalink
  17. plvhx wrote:

    jim is a known personality on the internet exclusively for his association with destructiod. he doubtless drives traffic by being confrontational and antagonistic in his writing.

    the question is whether destructoid is also comfortable being associated with his flagrant, straight-faced misogyny.

    daphny’s joke at jim’s expense, which was much in his own usual style, is not in any way a justification of his disgusting response.

    2/3/2011 at 8:41 pm | permalink
  18. Reba & Kay wrote:


    ok, here’s what i’m hearing from you. daphny started a fight. jim sterling retaliated by being misogynistic. so what you’re saying is because the misogyny was delivered in the form of some manbaby on twitter retaliating against someone mocking him the misogyny shouldn’t matter? yeah, daphny started the fight!

    if this was a flame war, it’d be a flame war. you’re missing the fucking point. the point is the misogyny, not the flame war. daphny made fun of him, so he responded with nasty gendered insults, slurs, and slut-shaming. if he’d responded making fun of daphny without all the misogyny this wouldn’t even be an issue. daphny being mean to a misogynistic asshole didn’t MAKE him a misogynistic asshole, so in NO way did she create this problem.

    and why the fuck have you chosen to pretend that bringing attention to the misogyny of a guy with a large audience in the community is somehow non-constructive? WHAT? ignoring any kind of prejudice is a really great way to make sure it keeps going on because no one does anything because no one’s talking about it.

    ok, from your comments, i’ve come up with an easy five step plan to get rid of misogyny in the gaming community!

    1. don’t talk about any misogyny you encounter, because that’s whining!
    2. just try to avoid misogynistic people!
    3. don’t make anyone mad, because then it’s your fault they’re misogynist!
    4. somehow fix the problem without asking anyone who could fix the problem to care about or fix it!
    5. DO NOTHING!

    you might be the one who’s going about things in the wrong way, JUST A GUESS. but i’d also guess that you’re not going about this at all, really. your dismissive tone is really gross.

    good job trying to silence people talking about a problem you don’t care about, though!

    2/3/2011 at 8:42 pm | permalink
  19. Lobst wrote:

    Sterling is one of those personalities who spouts hateful stuff and hides behind an equal-opportunity-offender badge. Daphny was right to bring this up to the surface.

    Honestly, his colorful personality would be fine if he was a standalone entity spouting nonsense from his own personal site, but people get news from this guy. And he can’t just keep it quiet, either; he editorializes like crazy in his news articles — but it’s okay, apparently, because he says he’s “not a journalist”. Destructoid would be better off without him.

    2/3/2011 at 8:45 pm | permalink
  20. LeonJuggaloWHF wrote:

    Taken out of context anything can be made to sound awful. Go back and read the tweets as I did while it was happening. I know it’s hard to read sarcasm and cheekiness on the internet but you can’t get up in arms over something without reference. Jim was defending his own views on feminism while spewing insults. None of it was done in malice or with any sense of seriousness.

    2/3/2011 at 8:47 pm | permalink
  21. InTheMiddle wrote:

    Reba & Kay: Why is the letter addressed to the editors of Destructoid? Why not to the UN Human Rights Council or mankind in general?

    Daphny ridiculed him on his Twitter account. As far as I know Twitter and Destructoid have no affiliation. There’s no reason for one of Jim’s employers to do take action to solve the problem of misogyny in the gaming community. Jim writes for other publications. Why wasn’t the letter addressed to them also?

    You might consider my dismissive tone gross, but isn’t your incensed tone equally gross? I am dismissive of this post and her feelings because I feel this is nothing more than a stunt to get traffic. Social marketing at its best. It’s not a real attempt to change anything about the state of the gaming community.

    2/3/2011 at 8:51 pm | permalink
  22. kerobaros wrote:

    Let’s all be honest here. Daphny was… well, Daphny. She can be agitating.

    At no point does that (or anything else) make it okay for anyone to call her a slut, a cunt, or anything else along those lines. Period.

    Daph was being herself. Jim was being himself. Daphny didn’t cross a line; Jim did.

    2/3/2011 at 9:03 pm | permalink
  23. daphny wrote:

    Brimstone: I’m blaming a victim who made herself a victim. If she didn’t like Jim’s responses, she, at any point in the conversation, could have ceased replying. She chose not to.

    actually i did stop replyoing and he went on and on for like a day after he blocked me oops

    2/3/2011 at 9:06 pm | permalink
  24. Ken Lowery wrote:

    Kerobaros has the sum of it.

    No need to put my name in quotes, by the way. That’s my actual name. I don’t hide behind pseudonyms.

    2/3/2011 at 9:08 pm | permalink
  25. REV wrote:

    “Daph was being herself. Jim was being himself. Daphny didn’t cross a line; Jim did.”

    She posted a picture of Sterling covered in dildos about to have sex with another man. How is “cunt” or anything else he said even on par with that level of offense?

    If anyone was being crude and outrageous, it was her.

    2/3/2011 at 9:09 pm | permalink
  26. daphny wrote:

    hahah you called someone gross for caring and you thinking being apathetic isnt gross at all


    hey how about you just keep ignoring this subject and post elsewhere instead of going on and on about not caring

    also as far as anna and i are concerned we kind of spend ALL OUR TIME on bigger issues, and making two posts about something like this shouldnt discount all the hard work we do

    we’re just calling out someone for being an idiot, and wondering what destructoid thinks about said idiot

    is destructoid proud? are the embarrassed?

    nah they’re probably going to ignore the whole thing because jim sterling is so EDGY AND CONTROVERSIAL AND THATS WHAT REALLY DRIVES GAMER CULTURE

    this is just a tiny tiny tiny tiny piece of whats wrong with the games community, but you jerks just sit around and ignore things until black and white terms get thrown into it

    and hten you go on and on and on and on about how its no big deal
    then why why why are you going on and on about it, couldnt we just have our ‘little hissy fit’ without you attempting to pacify it?
    no we couldnt
    becuase you actually feel threatened

    2/3/2011 at 9:11 pm | permalink
  27. Goaty McCuntchop wrote:

    He was right to call you a cunt, cunty mccuntblastinglesbiancunt

    2/3/2011 at 9:11 pm | permalink
  28. daphny wrote:

    just go play black ops or something, the adults are talking

    2/3/2011 at 9:12 pm | permalink
  29. LeonJuggaloWHF wrote:

    If you’ll notice all insults are not gender based. As a matter of fact I don’t think any are except for ‘feminazi slut’.

    Cunt is and insult as well as bitch. I have heard Jim call men and women cunts and bitches. She was seeking attention. Sweetcheeks was a comeback from being called misogynistic. It’s an easy retort. Salt in the wound. Jim Sterling can only be accused of attacking people who provoke him which I am all for. If people want to be handled with kid gloves then they shouldn’t go near the internet.

    By the way, he has said way worse on many occasions to men. Maybe he hates women and men, oh my!

    2/3/2011 at 9:12 pm | permalink
  30. Wtf wrote:


    “just go play black ops or something, the adults are talking”

    After reading the idiotic drivel you’ve been posting, I’m wondering if you actually know HOW to talk like an adult.

    2/3/2011 at 9:17 pm | permalink
  31. daphny wrote:

    yes leon the point is that he always says terrible things, this is a teeny tiny terrible thing of all the terrible things hes said, but now we can hyperfocus on it because i baited the bullshit out of him

    he dug his own hole, i just made gay fan fiction

    which was awesome

    if i was black and called him racist and then he called me NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER to “rub salt in the wound” would that be okay

    2/3/2011 at 9:19 pm | permalink
  32. Ok wrote:

    “She posted a picture of Sterling covered in dildos about to have sex with another man. How is “cunt” or anything else he said even on par with that level of offense?”


    She brought it on herself. This isn’t “blaming the victim”, it’s just a simple truth. She was offensive and crude and he gave it right back to her. Anyone who thinks otherwise isn’t paying attention.

    2/3/2011 at 9:19 pm | permalink
  33. daphny wrote:

    let’s say a black guy made a pornographic image of a female game journalist and she retaliated with racial slurs, i’d still find the journalist to be more in the wrong

    2/3/2011 at 9:20 pm | permalink
  34. daphny wrote:

    wait how is gay sex offensive? gay sex is awesome i have it all the time

    2/3/2011 at 9:21 pm | permalink
  35. Ok wrote:


    If you are actually comparing this to the plight of blacks, you really deserve worse than what you got.

    2/3/2011 at 9:21 pm | permalink
  36. daphny wrote:

    if you rate plights of anyone on a scale of better and worse you really need to re-organize your priorities

    the plight of women is a plight
    the plight of blacks is a plight
    the plight of homosexuals is a plight

    they’re not the same but saying that women can be called CUNT BITCH FEMINAZI because their struggle ISNT WORTH AS MUCH as another is pretty heinous

    2/3/2011 at 9:24 pm | permalink
  37. Ok wrote:


    So, if instead of calling you a cunt he had drawn a picture of you with the word cunt painted on your forehead, that would have been fine?

    You posting that drawing is the same as if you had called him a “fag”. It was immature, and he responded in kind.

    2/3/2011 at 9:24 pm | permalink
  38. C wrote:

    If Destructoid wants to fire Sterling, it should be because he’s a shitty journalist. The fact that he’s a shitty person too is entirely his own business.

    2/3/2011 at 9:25 pm | permalink
  39. Jonathan Beilin wrote:

    @OK – think on a slightly grander scale. The usage of the terms ‘cunt’ and ‘feminazi slut’ is hate speech similar to the usage of racial slurs. This specific incident, of course, does not compare to the ‘plight of blacks’ or even the entirety of the ‘plight of women’. That women also face oppression and discrimination should not be questioned in this day and age, and sexist slurs should be viewed in the same light as we now view racial slurs.

    2/3/2011 at 9:27 pm | permalink
  40. Ok wrote:

    I’m done arguing. You’re a lost cause.

    2/3/2011 at 9:28 pm | permalink
  41. Jonathan Beilin wrote:

    @C – I don’t ever want to hear another game journalist talk about legitimizing their industry in the aftermath of this. No NYTimes reporter would remain on staff after using a slur on his personal twitter.

    2/3/2011 at 9:29 pm | permalink
  42. auntie wrote:

    this letter is about the fact that jim sterling is a misogynist douchebag. if someone drew a silly drawing of him, that does not change the fact that he is a misogynist douchebag.

    2/3/2011 at 9:30 pm | permalink
  43. daphny wrote:

    This specific incident, of course, does not compare to the ‘plight of blacks’ or even the entirety of the ‘plight of women’. That women also face oppression and discrimination should not be questioned in this day and age, and sexist slurs should be viewed in the same light as we now view racial slurs.

    you said it better than me thanks

    2/3/2011 at 9:30 pm | permalink
  44. plvhx wrote:

    as usual the dregs of the internet show up to comment.

    daphny did not draw the picture. jokes are either funny or inconsequential, and his sexist remarks are neither.

    2/3/2011 at 9:30 pm | permalink
  45. Ok wrote:


    “No NYTimes reporter would remain on staff after using a slur on his personal twitter.”

    True, but then they’d just get picked up by Fox. (See: NPR’s Juan Williams.)

    2/3/2011 at 9:31 pm | permalink
  46. LeonJuggaloWHF wrote:

    It’s like this, If you call him a racist before he showed any racist characteristics and he responded in that way, not because he is a racist but because he wants to get a rise out of you it doesn’t bother me.

    That being said I’m not black so I wouldn’t feel anything but awkwardness from the statement. Nothing here leads me to believe even the slightest bit that he is misogynistic. If this proves anything it’s that Jim has a dirty mouth which was proven a long, long time ago. He said what he needed to in trade of insults.

    I’m not saying it’s smart, or right. I am saying it doesn’t need to have people looking into Jim’s character because of an exchange on twitter.

    And to people who are upset saying, ‘oh I like Destructoid,’ can’t be serious. Point blank Jim is really good at his job and this affects that in no way whatsoever. People use bad words. If I stub my toe there’s a good chance I’d shout words as bad or worse.

    2/3/2011 at 9:33 pm | permalink
  47. InTheMiddle wrote:

    Daphny: You could have stopped after the first unflattering comment. That would have been the adult thing to do. Jim continued because Jim wanted to continue. He is an individual with free will.

    Here’s my open letter to the gaming community to summarize my thoughts on this situation.

    Dear Gaming Community:

    I wanted to make sure you were made aware of an exchange involving gamers on a blog that happened on an unremarkable date.

    The exchange involved a discussion which framed a general problem in society, that of misogyny, in a smaller social context, the gaming community. The discussion that evolved meandered and went nowhere, because tackling societal problems in smaller contexts is much like severing the head of a hydra. The problem in the particular context will be vanquished, but it will grow again and manifest itself in another context. It is a pointless, unending battle when conducted in this manner.

    If Nietzsche were alive today, would he proclaim that “God is dead, and video games have replaced him”? Has the distraction of the other-worldly transformed into the distraction of the virtual-worldly? Are game invites and frags the ersatz prayers and sins of the modern day? Will we ever transcend the trappings of man to become the overman?

    In the end, Nietzsche’s opinions on the matter would probably be dismissed by the masses. However, the fact is that the gaming community is a vaguely defined and mercurial group of people; a fluxing subset of society. This segment of society is focused on entertaining themselves, not on solving social problems. You can bring attention to specific instances of a problem and implore the community to correct them, but as long as that community is not humanity as a whole, then the problem will never be solved.

    If you wish to snuff out misogyny, or homophobia, or misandry, or racism, then it would be best to focus your energies at the root of the problem.

    Gaming community please stop wasting your time solving problems and focus on enjoying yourself. Dismiss those who seek to spoil your fun, and if you feel the urge to change society, then do so in a more appropriate forum.

    2/3/2011 at 9:37 pm | permalink
  48. weggles wrote:

    Both parties involved should be equally ashamed.

    On one hand Daphne was a gigantic cunt and acted on par with a 5th grader.

    On the other hand, Jim was a rather large dickhead and shouldn’t have even acknowledged daphne in the first place…

    2/3/2011 at 9:41 pm | permalink
  49. Justin wrote:

    The things that Jim Sterling obviously reflect some underlying sexism that came out in a fight. But really both sides should be embarrassed for getting an a verbal fight the likes of which I haven’t seen since middle school.

    And what happens when you taunt an asshole with pictures and comments like that? You get asshole in response. You can blame Sterling all you want (and I do), but don’t completely abdicate any responsibility for a public fight which you picked and in which you both look awful.

    2/3/2011 at 9:46 pm | permalink
  50. hmm wrote:

    using originally female-related insults = misogyny. no mention of these things were made (to my knowledge) in reference to gaming. argument for state of the gaming culture being reinforced: lost.

    the really shitty thing that is not being pointed out (save for by one commenter) is that dapny brought shame to the gay community far greater than jim did to the male portion of the gaming community.

    making a “funny” or “shameful” or intendedly “insulting” picture that’s main “insult” is only gay sex means that daphny is equating being gay male, and having gay sex is somehow worthy of shame or is a grievous attack.

    as a gay person, daphny (and as an extension, annie) i would expect the both of you, FAR ABOVE the average hetero person or average hetero, male gamer to which you are claiming oppression by, would not throw an entire sexual orientation (YOUR sexual orientation) under the bus.

    to do this, then assume that misogyny in the gaming community is somehow more important or some sort of travesty is short sighted and hypocritical.

    there IS a ton of misogyny in the gaming community. there is also a ton of misogyny in many other communities, some more-so than gaming. as males and females we’ve come to learn how to deal with this. we ignore and act more mature than those that succumb to it, and we address those that we think may be able to understand it (not their employers).

    far worse is the on-going anti-gay mentality that is perpetrated on men and women alike. it is also rampant in the gaming community. the most common “insult” by a typical online gamer is to be called “gay” or “fag” – and to basically draw a picture that is the equivalent of saying “FAG!” is on par with that.

    do not misunderstand: jims comments were mean and very arguably gendered. but the initial drawing was just as bad (or worse, in my opinion) since it was a sexual orientation based attack. this, coming from an openly gay women, and furthermore making an ethical stand over the ensuing immaturity is really disheartening at best.

    at worst, it is angering.

    2/3/2011 at 9:47 pm | permalink
  51. daphny wrote:

    making a “funny” or “shameful” or intendedly “insulting” picture that’s main “insult” is only gay sex means that daphny is equating being gay male, and having gay sex is somehow worthy of shame or is a grievous attack.

    picture wasnt shameful he took it that way

    it was a funny picture


    like if you dont think its funny its okay, its a totally immature silly picture, but its something i would do myself if i had that many dildos (i really would)

    he was insulted because calling someone gay is an attack on macho masculinity, if he was like david jaffe he would have just laughed

    david jaffe didnt care

    david jaffe gets it

    2/3/2011 at 9:52 pm | permalink
  52. Lobst wrote:


    Daphny doesn’t partially represent the public face of a major website, though. Jim should’ve shown some professionalism — a quality you expect from your news sources — and blocked her sight-unseen, instead of responding to someone obviously out to troll him. But that doesn’t sit well with his Internet-bad-boy image, so he “had to”(?) spout a bunch of sexist garbage to prove his untouchable badass nature.

    Also, I take umbrage with the notion that Jim is good at his job. I stopped following Destructoid not because of his caustic personality outside the site, but because his posts were either quota-filling trash or self-serving grabs for attention. I can’t think of any other games-media-writer-person I dislike anywhere near as much.

    2/3/2011 at 9:53 pm | permalink
  53. auntie wrote:

    please convince me that the man who wrote this is a good journalist.

    2/3/2011 at 9:55 pm | permalink
  54. Justin wrote:

    “he was insulted because calling someone gay is an attack on macho masculinity, if he was like david jaffe he would have just laughed”

    Only insecure guys respond in such a way when called gay, but that doesn’t make it any better to use gay as an insult against people.

    It was an immature picture that perpetuated homophobia by using being gay as a comedic insult against straight people. An ugly start to an ugly conversation that now somehow you’re trying to take the high road on because it turns out Jim Sterling is a sexist in addition to everything else that’s wrong with him.

    2/3/2011 at 10:00 pm | permalink
  55. hmm wrote:

    i think the point of some of these arguments has been lost.

    im mostly with “inthemiddle” here.

    i dont think anyone is arguing that he is a good journalist.

    we are saying, though, that this is a thinly-veiled attention grab and that if you want to be ethical and mature about the topics at hand and the original incident the follow hold true:

    -immaturity on both sides
    -waste of time for everyone involved
    -publicly being a jerk is not grounds for being terminated from ones job
    -trying to solve a complex social problem by pointing out that some guy publicly a jerk is pointless

    if you truly feel the way you do, your letter should be addressed to the gaming community and should not read like a personal fight. in fact, it should wholly impersonal.

    im all for fighting anyones plight… but this is not the way to do it.

    2/3/2011 at 10:00 pm | permalink
  56. Justin wrote:

    Agree with Hmm. I came here from quite a few notable gamespeople’s tweets, and after investigating I think this post completely misrepresents a immature fight on both sides by portraying it as a one-off attack by Jim Sterling.

    I’m sure he’s sexist, as lots of people in the games industry are, but I don’t think that makes anything better on your end from what you said. To try to whitewash this whole thing as “Jim Sterling said some sexist things” with a little disclaimer about him being provoked is pretty bad.

    2/3/2011 at 10:04 pm | permalink
  57. LeonJuggaloWHF wrote:

    Well too be fair he’d be pretty pissed if he realized you were all labeling him as a journalist. He hates that. He’s a blogger and proud of it.

    He is the face of Destructoid, a blog site that has basically adopted the catchphrase, ‘Also Cocks’. He does not take himself seriously as most people shouldn’t.

    It gets to the point where you pick out misogyny as the basis of his insults. They were insults, no two ways about it but just because you are a woman and he is a man doesn’t make it misogynistic.

    If I tell a black lesbian so go ‘fuck herself you stupid bitch,’ does that make me a racist, misogynist and homophobe. No, it makes me a pissed off individual. That is all.

    2/3/2011 at 10:10 pm | permalink
  58. Mr. wrote:

    This whole thing just proves that women don’t understand irony.

    2/3/2011 at 10:10 pm | permalink
  59. daphny wrote:

    it was clearly fan fiction

    2/3/2011 at 10:21 pm | permalink
  60. Lobst wrote:


    Jim not adopting the “journalist” label is a cheap cover. He still represents a website people go to for news. Regardless of what he calls his position, it still comes with expectations that he’s clearly not following.

    If you sincerely believe that “stupid bitch” isn’t a gendered insult, I’m not sure if anybody’s capable of helping you.

    2/3/2011 at 10:23 pm | permalink
  61. Ex wrote:

    Internet, serious business.

    2/3/2011 at 10:27 pm | permalink
  62. Chris wrote:

    Thanks for reminding me why I refuse to support video gaming journalism. There’s something really damn wrong if an industry if I, a middle class male, of all people notices the rampant misogyny in it.

    2/3/2011 at 10:28 pm | permalink
  63. Skrattybones wrote:

    I like the part where you gloss over the fact that she started this with sexualized fiction and *art* between Sterling and Jaffe — not only insulting them as individuals, but using gays as a launching post and insult.

    Why exactly isn’t she coming under fire for managing to utilize her own gendered insults as well as going the ever ignorant route of using the gay culture as her object of ridicule?

    2/3/2011 at 10:30 pm | permalink
  64. InTheMiddle wrote:

    @Skrattybones: Because she wants sympathy and attention. And seeing that this post has been commented on the most out of all her posts, she succeeded.

    The pity wagon is coming to a stop though.

    2/3/2011 at 10:37 pm | permalink
  65. Elk wrote:

    I think Destructoid should fire Jim Sterling on the compromise that Anna break up with Daphny. Fair’s fair right? They were both immature, both should be punished accordingly.

    I agree that misogyny needs to be eradicated in the video game industry. I don’t think offending people to the point of them calling you gendered names is the proper way to do it. I’ve been a fan of this website visiting it off and on for years. But I’m not going to delude myself into thinking that Daphny is in any way a “victim”. If she seriously meant no ill will with it, after the first post she could have been the bigger woman, explained it was not meant as an insult, and Jim would have looked like an overreacting idiot. You don’t get equal treatment in the workplace through negativity. You get it by being the better person.

    You can’t initiate a conversation, give as well as you get, then play victim because you’re a girl and he was misogynist. That’s kind of counter productive to the whole equality thing.

    2/3/2011 at 10:43 pm | permalink
  66. Sergio wrote:

    I am shocked by your use of upper case.

    2/3/2011 at 10:47 pm | permalink
  67. daphny wrote:

    hey ive been getting flack over this from the beginning dudes, but yeah brofist brofist TELL IT LIKE IT ISNT

    2/3/2011 at 10:58 pm | permalink
  68. Alexander wrote:

    If it’s not OK to call somebody a “cunt” if they are offended by it, doesn’t it also follow that it’s not OK to call somebody a “fag” or imply they’re homosexual if they are offended by that? It seems to me that what you are arguing is that what he said is worse because he’s a man, and Daphny should be forgiven because she’s a woman, and that’s just pathetic.

    That said, the article “why penis why” should be enough reason to fire him from Destructoid. Obviously, that’s not going to happen though

    2/3/2011 at 11:09 pm | permalink
  69. prettyboy wrote:

    Regardless of Daphny’s actions, Jim’s response was offensive and unprofessional. It makes me sad that so many of gaming’s public figures can get away with this kind of deplorable behavior.

    2/3/2011 at 11:19 pm | permalink
  70. Mike wrote:

    Aw man, even more attention for him. :(

    My only real concern here:
    I’d rather we didn’t act like he is representative of gaming culture in general. Lots of people who play games are not assholes like this. They are decent people who just enjoy a common pastime.

    Not that “gaming culture” is a singular, well-defined thing anyway.

    2/3/2011 at 11:31 pm | permalink
  71. snapman wrote:

    Due to a fluke of human perception, the internet as a medium is not capable of changing people’s opinions. Although it shares many traits with printed media, internet text is only capable of affecting emotions. While books can present very persuasive arguments over the length of many chapters, the interactive nature of internet text flattens any sense of respect a reader has for the opinions of an author. Emotions, however, are very susceptible to the effects of internet text. This is why the most successful and repeated internet conversation archetypes are exclusively emotional: Anger from trolling, joy from circle-jerk agreement, humor from comic anecdotes, fear from scary stories, and sadness from tragic tales. As a result, the only effective use of internet text is to affect emotions. If you intend to do something else, other mediums are a much better option.

    This post is available under a Creative Commons attribution license for use in non-commercial flamewars. Thank you.

    2/3/2011 at 11:35 pm | permalink
  72. Skrattybones wrote:


    That is a bullshit argument, sorry. If this was a piece calling for Sterling to be fired from Destructoid based on things he has written for Destructoid it might be a different argument, if an argument at all.

    But this is a piece calling for Destructoid to fire Sterling based on something wholly unrelated to Destructoid in which he responded to an attack on his person by Daphny.

    You don’t get to waive her actions in this because you don’t like Sterling. She is just as much in the wrong as he is — the only difference being she doesn’t have a boss to run to to demand something be done.

    2/3/2011 at 11:50 pm | permalink
  73. PurpleChair wrote:

    Maybe I’m crazy, but I think if someone wrote a few lines of gay fanfic about me and drew pictures of me in strange sexual situations (eg. covered in dildos), I would probably just make a confused face and then close that browser tab.

    And in that sense, what I’m taking away from this incident is that David Jaffe is a pretty cool guy.

    2/4/2011 at 12:09 am | permalink
  74. audio wrote:

    Jim went overboard but Daphny don’t play the victim. You slammed him, he retaliated, leave all this gender and sexual orientation business out of it. It’s bullshit like this, a “crying wolf” scenario that lessens the focus there should be of actual important gender and sexual orientation issues.
    You both acted like children.

    2/4/2011 at 12:16 am | permalink
  75. anon wrote:

    yea you forgot to mention the stupid baiting post she sent to Sterling that started everything

    Also forgot to mention your girlfriend was basically REVELLING in this.

    No one feels sorry for you. Guess what? Its the internet. Sterling doesn’t write for the damn New York Times. its a video game blog, get over yourselves

    2/4/2011 at 12:25 am | permalink
  76. Escarcho wrote:

    @Lobst: My question for you, then, is this: Is Jon Stewart a journalist? Personally, I think he’s an entertainer and humorist. But I guess with the increasing number of people who get their news from The Daily Show, I guess we’re going to have to now, aren’t we?

    Don’t be daft. Just because you report on news doesn’t make you a journalist.

    2/4/2011 at 12:31 am | permalink
  77. drinky crow wrote:

    both of you chirpy disgenuous shitwits are the reason internet gametards can’t have nice things. good god, could BOTH of you be just a little more fifteen years old and on the internet for the first time

    2/4/2011 at 12:33 am | permalink
  78. drinky crow wrote:

    (that’s “disingenuous” of course but you know I MAD)

    2/4/2011 at 12:35 am | permalink
  79. anon wrote:

    It’s crazy to watch Daphny downplay the bait and then act like she was just randomly accosted by a stranger.

    Yes, you consider your fan fiction quite awesome. I’m sure Jim thinks his gender blasts were quite hilarious as well. Truth is no one gives a shit about either of you nobodies.

    Oh and nice little N-word blast as well Daphne. So much talk about your “plight” and equality (i guess, who the hell knows) and those N words just rolled right off the tongue. Stay classy

    2/4/2011 at 12:40 am | permalink
  80. kerobaros wrote:

    Oh my god the drama this is causing! This is awesome. I’m going to keep watching this.

    2/4/2011 at 12:52 am | permalink
  81. daphny wrote:

    big name games journalist whines and cries over FAN FICTION on a LIVEJOURNAL internet explodes

    oh shit

    i just realized how fucking wonderful this is

    2/4/2011 at 1:07 am | permalink
  82. Anoniguy wrote:

    It’s a crying shame that drama inevitably brings waaaaay more comments and discussion than the excellent games one finds here.

    So, daphny, was the awesome fanfic worth the shitstorm?

    2/4/2011 at 1:13 am | permalink
  83. 4serious wrote:

    i can’t believe you’re all promoting the rape culture like this

    2/4/2011 at 1:14 am | permalink
  84. daphny wrote:

    anoniguy i cant help that people have bad taste!

    2/4/2011 at 1:20 am | permalink
  85. daphny wrote:

    i never downplayed the bait either!

    2/4/2011 at 1:21 am | permalink
  86. Alexander wrote:

    Saying that all plights are equal is really fucking retarded. Everybody is not equally oppressed so why would every plight be of equal worth?

    (not saying that racialism is necessarily worse than sexism though)

    2/4/2011 at 1:49 am | permalink
  87. whywhywhy wrote:

    why is everyone still missing that if the flame war would have been devoid of misogyny nobody would’ve cared or posted about it


    2/4/2011 at 2:18 am | permalink
  88. Alexander wrote:

    if he had attacked her because of misogyny, that would be one thing, but that’s not what happened, he used misogyny as a weapon to get to her. Just like Daphny used the age-old “you’re gay” insult in an attempt to get to him…

    2/4/2011 at 3:02 am | permalink
  89. deejay wrote:

    posting about this reflects really poorly on your judgment.

    you know so much about wonderful independent games — why not stick to your field of expertise?

    why would you brag about someone being so incendiary and goading another person into a series of vile comebacks? both of the participants acted like emotionally stunted foul-mouthed children. can you really not see that the stimulus was just as offensive as the response?!

    what are you trying to prove…? you’re failing…

    2/4/2011 at 3:16 am | permalink
  90. Lobst wrote:


    I hold Jon Stewart to the same standards I hold Jim Sterling to. Conversely, if some viewer with a LiveJournal posted a poorly-drawn picture of Jon Stewart cannonballing Rush Limbaugh, I’d expect Jon to shrug it off the same way David Jaffe did.

    2/4/2011 at 3:40 am | permalink
  91. Lobst wrote:


    Your intentions are noble, but unfortunately, I’m pretty sure the absolute most you’ll be able to get from Destructoid is an open rebuttal letter from Anthony Burch about the “value of free speech” and the slippery-slope dangers of kowtowing to one radical group’s opinion, in an article filled with angry commenters high-fiving and giving each other bro-hugs.

    Not to say I dislike anything about this letter one bit, of course. :D

    2/4/2011 at 3:53 am | permalink
  92. Alexander wrote:

    “it is pretty sad that you dont know what a fucking vagina looks like cant you like pay for sex by now ”

    this is what daphny said to jim sterling before he said anything sexist, isn’t this sexist like shit

    2/4/2011 at 4:11 am | permalink
  93. Anon wrote:

    I think what we can learn form this is that if you want to inslut someone and still get the simpathy of the people you should do it in the form of awesome fanfiction.

    (leaving that typo there)

    2/4/2011 at 4:19 am | permalink
  94. Vimtocreed wrote:

    shut the fuck up

    2/4/2011 at 5:22 am | permalink
  95. SurplusGamer wrote:

    I don’t want to come out fighting for Jim here since although I find he can be amusing, I’ve tired of his particular approach.

    HOWEVER, this open letter annoys me. It annoys me because I think maybe there’s something in what you say, that some of the things he said were over the top and ill advised. But rather than present the case for that honestly, you fail to set it in any sort of context whatsoever and I think that in this case, context is pretty important.

    My advice would be to take a deep breath, and tell, this time from the beginning, leaving nothing out.

    2/4/2011 at 5:31 am | permalink
  96. Rick wrote:

    “it is pretty sad that you dont know what a fucking vagina looks like cant you like pay for sex by now ”

    this is what daphny said to jim sterling before he said anything sexist, isn’t this sexist like shit

    THIS. One-way moral indignation is what Feminists seem to specialize in of course.

    2/4/2011 at 6:15 am | permalink
  97. bobaloo wrote:

    Your diatribe lacks any context whatsoever and purposefully excludes the not insignificant part of the exchange where your girlfriend told Jim, as some form of attack, that he was clearly a closeted homosexual.
    You’re an embarassment to the gay rights movement, but in a week or so, you and Daphny will be completely forgotten and Jim will still be one of the most-read gaming bloggers around.
    Enjoy your 15 minutes.

    2/4/2011 at 6:25 am | permalink
  98. manmachine wrote:

    The bulk of the comments here make me ashamed to be part of “gamer culture”, whatever that may be.

    The people here going on about Daphny “getting what [she] deserves” make my skin crawl. No one deserves to be the target of bigotry & hate. Even though you can’t empathize with it (because of your (obvious) lack of awareness of your white and/or male privilege) you must at least understand on a Purely Academic Level that misogyny, bigotry, and hate are Never OK.

    This He-Man Woman Hater’s Club mentality is exactly why there’s a dearth of non-white & non-male voices in the games industry.

    2/4/2011 at 6:36 am | permalink
  99. Timbo wrote:

    If we silence all the Jim Sterlings of the world, who are we going to feel morally superior to?

    2/4/2011 at 6:45 am | permalink
  100. audio wrote:

    @manmachine Seriously?
    So you’re completely ignoring the fact that this was a TWO way street. Again I’m not defending Jim he was out of line but treating Daphny like the victim here is ridiculous. The fact that she’s acting like one and her gf is blindly supporting her is ridiculous. This whole situation is and it’s sad that two people acting like children are getting so much attention.

    2/4/2011 at 6:49 am | permalink
  101. Jonas wrote:

    What Daphny did was to intentionally provoke someone to demonstrate that he would react in a way that exposes his misogyny. What is wrong with that? It’s a perfectly reasonable tactic, especially since she was proven correct, and because the way in which she did it was clearly satirical.

    Now, I don’t read Daphny’s Livejournal and I don’t read Destructoid, and I intensely dislike feminism (not gender equality – feminism) as an academic and political movement, but misogyny is misogyny, and it’s not acceptable.

    Those who scream “you’re being childish!” and “everyone is equally at fault!” or “it’s just games!” are just using the tired old tricks of those who agree with the status quo and don’t want to change anything.

    It’s probably not a coincidence that so many of these individuals are also saying “Jim Sterling is much more famous than you, nya nya nya! No-one reads your blog, ahaha!” and similar pathetic attempts to shame Anna & Daphny.

    2/4/2011 at 7:26 am | permalink
  102. Rick wrote:

    Jim should’ve shown some professionalism — a quality you expect from your news sources — and blocked her sight-unseen, instead of responding to someone obviously out to troll him. But that doesn’t sit well with his Internet-bad-boy image, so he “had to”(?) spout a bunch of sexist garbage to prove his untouchable badass nature.

    LOL. You say he should’ve been a “professional” then point out he has an internet badboy persona. His internet persona is a part of what he DOES professionally, so I guess he’s being professional by keeping it up.

    I’ve just stumbled upon this, skimmed the comments and really – so, so many crybabies and carebears everywhere. Hopefully destructoid will see this “open letter” for what it is and give it the middle finger it deserves.

    2/4/2011 at 7:34 am | permalink
  103. watermanx wrote:

    Heres what I think to everyone who got offended to Jim’s comments:

    2/4/2011 at 8:13 am | permalink
  104. Lobst wrote:

    Rick: Aside from “he’s British and can therefore address Americans with the C-word even if he knows how they’ll interpret it”, your excuse is the lamest I’ve heard yet. I’m going to take a shot in the dark and straight-up guess that hateful remarks of any nature aren’t part of Jim’s job description, no matter how edgy his contract mandates he has to be.

    Here’s something worth addressing: If he called someone a “faggot” — a caustic insult typically targeted toward gay people, just as “slut”, “bitch”, and “cunt” are caustic insults typically targeted toward women — how would Destructoid react? Would they turn a blind eye to it, the way they are now? And either way, what does that say about the state of things?

    (“ha ha, you’ve never seen a vagina before” can be attributed to either sex, btw. just sayin’)

    2/4/2011 at 8:57 am | permalink
  105. auntie wrote:

    arguments i don’t buy:

    she brought it upon herself. jim was just defending himself after being viciously attacked.
    jim “defended himself” by calling daphny an attention-seeking bitch cunt. that this is his reaction to being threatened by a woman is entirely the problem. she didn’t hypnotize him into acting how he did. she just posted a dumb drawing of jim. his misogyny is entirely his own.

    jim is an equal opportunity offender! there’s nothing gendered about the names you’ve listed.
    really? do you often see women calling men attention-seeking feminazi sluts? jim’s name-calling has everything to do with the fact that he’s a man in a culture that’s openly hostile toward women, which is the real problem. he’s a public figure, an ambassador of that culture, who says it’s absolutely okay for men to call women attention-seeking bitches.

    daphny is homophobic. suggesting jim is gay is far more offensive than calling a woman a feminazi slut.
    she posted a really silly drawing of jim and david jaffe (which jaffe laughed at and moved on). if jim sterling flew into a tirade in response to this, it’s because he took it as an affront to his masculinity. he, not daphny, is the one who decided that the suggestion of a queer encounter with another man constituted a terrible insult worthy of reprisal.

    you shouldn’t waste your time posting about this. just make / post about videogames.
    i find it bizarre that i can make games about women in male-free worlds, but the moment i suggest that videogame culture is a dangerous / scary / unsafe place for women to be i’ve crossed the line into irrelevance. frank discussion of misogyny in games culture is absolutely relevent to my work as a critic and designer.

    if gaming culture’s already hostile to women, why focus on jim sterling? this won’t change anything.
    i doubt destructoid will actually fire jim. but i see this as a valuable point for a discussion of just how caustic gaming culture is towards women, and how that hostility is openly condoned by the culture’s most public figures. usually we accept this without discussion – my goal here is to make this reality as public, and as widely-discussed, as possible.

    2/4/2011 at 9:04 am | permalink
  106. strangerland wrote:

    “I intensely dislike feminism (not gender equality – feminism) as an academic and political movement”


    Feminism IS ABOUT GENDER EQUALITY, look it up.

    2/4/2011 at 9:34 am | permalink
  107. SB wrote:

    It doesn’t really matter if she antagonized him as his apologists keep pointing out. If I antagonized a racist to get a response out of him, and he responded with racists comments as expected, it doesn’t make him any less of a racist.

    This isn’t a freedom of speech issue either. The government can’t curtail your right to say whatever you want, but an employer has the right to fire someone for it depending on the person’s contract and state laws. If I said things that distracted or hurt my employer, they have the right to terminate me, since it could affect them financially/legally.

    2/4/2011 at 9:51 am | permalink
  108. Rick wrote:


    My argument is not meant to excuse any remarks. I feel fine just saying he’s entitled to say what he likes unless he’s explicitly signed up to standards dictating otherwise. Especially say things which fagpuppies like you find hateful.

    My statement was to just point out how idiotic the usual equation of professionalism with even-handedness, consideration etc. is when it’s applied to somebody who’s supposed to be a dickhead professionally and, for the record, probably doesn’t even HAVE a strictly defined job description complete with ethical code anyway.

    Oh be pwofessionaowl waaaah!

    Anyway, Jim stays, Jim wins. Whine on.

    2/4/2011 at 10:09 am | permalink
  109. Ataree wrote:

    “Let’s all be honest here. Daphny was… well, Daphny. She can be agitating.

    At no point does that (or anything else) make it okay for anyone to call her a slut, a cunt, or anything else along those lines. Period.”

    If someone’s being agitating for the sake of it, they fully deserve to be called a cunt.

    2/4/2011 at 10:29 am | permalink
  110. Jamie wrote:

    The amount of apologism and bro-mans completely missing the point here is absurd. Which is exactly why this discussion needs to happen in gaming circles—here and everywhere else. And every other time some guy throws around misogynist slurs attacking women as a whole, shrugging it off while his buddies gather around him for high fives. That entire culture is holding gaming back.

    There is no excuse for misogyny. It is never justified. If someone is being a troll, call them a troll. Or do the adult thing and shrug them off. Don’t attack the entire gender they belong to. It’s immature, it’s bigoted, and it’s inaccurate.

    2/4/2011 at 11:09 am | permalink
  111. Billy Ocean wrote:

    @Daphne “i just realized how fucking wonderful this is”

    Hard to take this whole argument seriously when you still say stuff like this, Daph

    2/4/2011 at 11:42 am | permalink
  112. James B. wrote:

    I love how everybody who doesn’t agree with the people pointing out Daphny is as much in wrong are accusing the first camp of apologism, misogyny, and trying make this a gender issue – they are doing the exact same thing.

    You are defending Daphny for her heinous use of the gay community as a punchline. Apologism. While Sterling might be guilty of misogyny, Daphny in this exchange is equally as guilty of misandry. It became a gender issue as soon as she opted to slander the gay community. Throwing around words like “brofist” and “dudebro” in defense of her actions is equally as reprehensible — it is attempting to pigeonhole the people who feel Daphny was equally in the wrong as cisgendered males who are siding with Sterling for the sake of siding with Sterling.

    You want Sterling fired? Fine. I want an earnest apology to gays from Daphny.

    2/4/2011 at 11:47 am | permalink
  113. bobaloo wrote:

    And yet again you gloss over the tweet from your gf where she tells Jim he’s a closeted homosexual as a way to attack him.
    Also, Daph initially claimed the drawing wasn’t hers then alluded otherwise.

    If you can generalize male gamers by calling them” neckbeards”, “bros” and” nerds”, why can’t I generalize militant women by calling them feminazi cunts (tho I don’t)? Oh, that’s right. You wouldn’t be able to play the victim card.

    2/4/2011 at 12:18 pm | permalink
  114. sanveron wrote:

    my theory is you can tell the guy is mysoginistic from information outside of the tweets, like previous remarks/articles of the guy.

    i speak spanish, so i can’t really feel how bad some insults are (i can’t believe the way ‘cunt’ is the worst word ever, and the tiptoeing around ‘nigger’ never ceases to amaze me), but from the tweets alone it seems like just an exchange of insults.

    2/4/2011 at 12:19 pm | permalink
  115. Jonas wrote:

    “Feminism IS ABOUT GENDER EQUALITY, look it up.”

    I don’t really think this is the space for discussing my issues with identity politics and the tendency of feminist scholarship to promote sexist thinking. I simply mentioned it because of the “feminazi” accusation.

    2/4/2011 at 12:44 pm | permalink
  116. Martin wrote:

    We shouldn’t just have them fired, we should call the fucking inquisition to burn all the sexists.

    I mean I usually enjoy what both of you write Anna and Daphny, and Jim Sterling is an idiot.

    But to write an open letter to his employer for a private exchange smells like mccarthysm. It’s not because people are assholes that they should lose their jobs. The solution you propose is worse than the problem.

    2/4/2011 at 1:01 pm | permalink
  117. daphny wrote:

    its pathetic that someone drew it for me? seriously I CANT DRAW STICK FIGURES i definitely had the idea for the drawing it was justa friend that read my twitter and sent it to me

    i dont know why people thinking i SECRETLY DREW it is even an issue since i clearly had the idea for the drawing and posted it

    2/4/2011 at 1:52 pm | permalink
  118. Ralphomon wrote:

    As far as I can see, what happened was (and correct me if I’m wrong) Daphny posted something kinda silly about Jim Sterling and some other guy whos name I’ve forgotten having gay sex, to which Sterling responded by getting all ‘internets is serious business’ and made with the insults, possibly in some misguided attempt to be funny at Daphy’s expense. Daphny laughs. The end.

    So far, successful troll. I don’t think you can legitimately call Daphny ‘the victim’, because she refused to play that part, and instead Sterling showed off just how much of a misogynistic douchehorse he is. He could have ignored the original post, laughed at it and not given it another thought, written a strongly-worded letter to the Times like any Englishman worth his salt, or whatever, but he went internet tough-guy about something not even that insulting. Daphny’s Prankster’s Gambit level is off the charts at the moment (sorry MSPA reference).

    I also don’t think that a homosexual person saying she thinks you might be a repressed homosexual really counts as an insult unless you take it that way, which smacks of either homophobia or insecurity.

    I hope that Destructoid doesn’t just ignore this whole thing: I thought they were better than that. I can’t see them firing him, though – I’m also not entirely sure they should have to. Short of forcing an apology out of him, I don’t know. Hmeh.

    2/4/2011 at 2:17 pm | permalink
  119. The King wrote:

    “videogame culture is a dangerous / scary / unsafe place for women”

    and for all the same reasons, a downright unpleasant place men who aren’t crazy misogynist man-children.

    People like Jim are all too common, it really shouldn’t be shrugged off.

    2/4/2011 at 3:33 pm | permalink
  120. A guy wrote:

    You know, REDDER (should I capitalize? I always do) is one of my favorite games ever (I have been gaming since I was six-ish. I am now 21). I am absolutely in love with it. I’ve described it as “perfect” to many people, and so its sort of heartbreaking that the creator of such an amazing game has to be drawn into this silly argument.

    More than anything this post suffers from the “my [someone who means a lot to me] can do no wrong” syndrome, in that you have two grown adults insulting eachother like kids on a playground, but only Jim is in the wrong.

    Misogynistic language is a huge problem, especially in (but not restricted to) gamer culture, but a line has to be drawn in the line somewhere. Hes CLEARLY using stereotyped terminology as a means to belittle someone who has just insulted him. She CLEARLY insulted him on the basis of being fat (in her overly condescending language, which makes it the SAME kind of stereotyped terminology) and implied that he must be secretly gay (implying all kinds of dumb stereotypes you must know nothing about) but she doesn’t seem to be in any wrong here.

    Why isnt she held to the same standard? Im all for equality, really, but equality means when you dish out insults you have to be able to take them. It also means that provoking someone over the internet is going to get all sorts of generalized insults in return. You cant just suddenly rise up out of resorting to the same name-calling and say “Wait! Misogyny!”

    Thats NOT equality.

    Think whatever you want of me, but know that I dont like Jim Sterling. Blah blah blah. You dont care. Its this EXACT behavior that makes more problems.

    Still love REDDER, but I probably wont be checking back all that often because Ive lost the illusion of what you stood for.

    tl;dr for gaming culture to grow up we ALL have to act like grown ups. Im trying my hardest to pull my own weight, so all this shit makes me want to do is get off the internet entirely and pretend Im the only gamer on the planet.

    not something I expected from someone who I respect so much (NOT TO SAY YOU DID THE WRONG THING. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG. JUST SHADES OF STUPID.)

    2/4/2011 at 4:09 pm | permalink
  121. Jaz wrote:

    @A Guy

    Did you expect her to write an open letter to her girlfriend?

    2/4/2011 at 5:18 pm | permalink
  122. manmachine wrote:

    I guess blaming the victim is easier than admitting there Might Be Something Wrong w/ the sick, naval-gazing culture most of you obviously identify with (else you wouldn’t be leaping to the defense of an awful misogynist.)

    Pat yourselves on the back for supporting & furthering the culture of misogyny that defines gaming, from the content of the games to the gamers that play them.

    Those shrieking “homophobe!” should all be ashamed of using the struggle of millions to overcome bigotry & violence for the sake of defending some misogynist on the internet. It’s vile.

    2/4/2011 at 5:36 pm | permalink
  123. Jonas wrote:

    @A GUY:

    Just declaring that everyone is childish is missing the point.

    To use everyone’s favourite example, walking up to a Nazi and saying “Hey, you’re Jewish, aren’t you? No, don’t deny it, I bet you have a dozen kippahs in your closet! You’re just coming from synagogue, right?” isn’t antisemitic, it’s using another person’s known or suspected prejudice against them. The point isn’t that you believe being Jewish says something about someone, you just want the guy to publicly burst out saying “How dare you say zis to me, you schwein! I vill destroy you viss my superior tecknology! I am a blueblooded blond Aryan like der Führer!”

    Goading people, even using obviously silly satire, is a rhetorical tool. Sure, it can be used for meaningless trolling, but that’s true of any kind of tool. But it can also be used to expose prejudice, and if we lump together every use of a confrontational rhetorical device and label them all as “childish,” we will end up always kissing the arse of the status quo.

    2/4/2011 at 6:42 pm | permalink
  124. deejay wrote:

    Here’s what it comes down to. One person did a disgusting thing. Another person did a disgusting thing in response. A third person did a disgusting thing by defending the first person. Oh noes someone (x3) is wrong on the internet.

    And I stopped visiting this blog.

    2/4/2011 at 8:13 pm | permalink
  125. matt w wrote:

    Actual thing Sterling wrote on Destructoid’s actual site [trigger warning]:

    “I’m not saying that male organs are better than female ones, but if there was a fight between a cock and a pussy, I’d be putting my money on the one that can rape. Again, I’m not saying that rape is a good thing but … y’know … it’s a better combat tactic than being able to maybe squirt some stuff if the woman tries hard enough and doesn’t accidentally piss herself, which is about the only thing a vagina can bring to a fight.”

    So yeah, Sterling is a creepy misogynistic fuck and Destructoid has absolutely no problem with his getting his creepy misogynistic fuckness all over their site. That’s gotta be pretty much the baseline.

    Protip: When you find yourself writing “I’m not saying that rape is a good thing but,” just delete the file and start over.

    2/4/2011 at 8:33 pm | permalink
  126. Amy wrote:

    What the…? It’s stuff like this that gets all the rest of us feminists labelled as whiny, little girls, who take up arms at even the smallest insult. So he said “cunt” rather than “asshole,” who cares?

    You’re raising cain because gendered swear words exist in the English language. Isn’t that more appropriate to a grammar or etymology blog?

    You and your girlfriend’s completely misplaced outrage does more harm to women and the general misunderstanding of feminism than one jerk on twitter. This is the equivalent of a child punching their sibling in the arm and running to their parent, crying about getting in a fight.

    TIP: If you want public sympathy, don’t only post the part of the conversation that shows you being as much of a jerk as the guy you’re accusing. Daphny calls him homosexual to try and insult him. Not really someone I’m going to rally behind as pro-GLBT. (So help me god, if anyone says “but she’s gay so it’s alright for her to use anti-gay hate speech…”)

    BTW: You couldn’t even use the argument that “profanity isn’t protected by the first amendment,” because your girlfriend is swearing as much as he is. The only difference is that she’s using words that don’t offend YOU. Hypocritical much?

    tl;dr – Someone said mean things to you and it made you sad. It doesn’t mean it’s a hate crime. Stop acting like you’re the Gay Rosa f-ing Parks of Twitter.

    2/4/2011 at 11:05 pm | permalink
  127. Ohma wrote:

    Pffff geez some ‘games journo’ gets made fun of for being a massive “real men ride each-other hrrng D8<" brodude, pitches a serious "I'm an eighth grade boy who was just dumped and now hates all women forevers for SERIOUS mang!" style fit and predictably the sadnerds swarm out of the corners of the internet to defend his virtue from those nasty mean icky girls what got the cooties or whatever.

    Seriously, fucking internets. :(

    2/4/2011 at 11:39 pm | permalink
  128. Toupsi wrote:

    I think the real issue here is the fact that Jim verbally attacked Daphny in public. Twitter is a public forum, visible and search-able by anyone on the internet. And it’s idiotic to think that we should not be held accountable for our own tweets. You said it, you published it, so anyone could read it.

    And I’m very surprised by some of the responses I have read on this blog. Considering the feminism persistent in all of Anna’s games, one would think that visitors would be supportive at least instead of further perpetuating the single-mindedness of a hetero-centric industry.

    2/5/2011 at 8:20 am | permalink
  129. The King wrote:

    but she’s gay so it’s alright for her to use anti-gay hate speech.

    2/5/2011 at 9:23 am | permalink
  130. ChuckBuried wrote:


    “To use everyone’s favourite example, walking up to a Nazi and saying “Hey, you’re Jewish, aren’t you? No, don’t deny it, I bet you have a dozen kippahs in your closet! You’re just coming from synagogue, right?” isn’t antisemitic, it’s using another person’s known or suspected prejudice against them. The point isn’t that you believe being Jewish says something about someone, you just want the guy to publicly burst out saying “How dare you say zis to me, you schwein! I vill destroy you viss my superior tecknology! I am a blueblooded blond Aryan like der Führer!”

    Goading people, even using obviously silly satire, is a rhetorical tool. Sure, it can be used for meaningless trolling, but that’s true of any kind of tool. But it can also be used to expose prejudice, and if we lump together every use of a confrontational rhetorical device and label them all as “childish,” we will end up always kissing the arse of the status quo.”

    Just quoting this to make sure people don’t miss it.

    2/5/2011 at 9:52 am | permalink
  131. BLURP wrote:

    I think all the focus on Sterling’s misogyny is distracting from his spectacularly bigoted views about mentally disabled people, which he seems to view as a dangerous race of D&D monsters

    2/5/2011 at 12:46 pm | permalink
  132. Christian wrote:

    I’m a big fan of your blog and your work, but I have to be honest: that picture was downright nasty and it was published on your girlfriend’s blog. There’s even an argument that it was homophobic and sexist in itself. Not really my argument, but an argument nonetheless. Sterling’s comments were horrible and childish, but your girlfriend went in with antagonism so she has to roll with the punches.

    2/5/2011 at 2:26 pm | permalink
  133. Disgusted wrote:

    Oh, grow up. Jesus Christ. People like you do more harm to feminism than any number of knuckle-dragging misogynists. Your girlfriend causes a fight and then cries about it to you, so you seize an opportunity to engage in some traffic angling under the veil of righteous indignation. Classy and not the *least* bit hypocritical.

    Yeah, Jim’s a douche. So are you and so is your girlfriend. Why don’t you all go die in a fire and do the world a favor, hmm?

    2/5/2011 at 4:04 pm | permalink
  134. mr muscle wrote:

    thumbs up for Disgusted. It’s funny that nowadays people are arguing over nothing. It’s true what S. Lem once said: I never knew that so many people in the world are idiots, until I connected to the internet (roughly translated from polish)

    2/5/2011 at 4:21 pm | permalink
  135. The King wrote:

    Anna Anthropy killed feminism, it lays beneath her bloodied knife.

    Oh Anna! why? How can you and your girl: the murderers that you are, ever live up to the magnitude of your actions.

    2/5/2011 at 4:55 pm | permalink
  136. The King wrote:

    *smashes Lantern and runs away*

    2/5/2011 at 4:56 pm | permalink
  137. Atma wrote:

    As a lesbian, I gotta say I don’t get the “Daphaknee was homophobic omg apologize to gays now” angle. I didn’t find anything she did anything but hilarious. Derpy slashfic between Jim and Jaffe is just that: derpy and goofy. I don’t feel threatened or attacked or baww about any of it. Her callout was amazing and so is dess’ response to Jim and misogyny in gaming in general. Sure, Daph was aggressive, but honestly, it’s about time someone was.

    Fuck misogyny, fuck the apologists, and fuck Sterling. They deserve to be called out and made to reflect on what they’re actually saying and doing by pulling the ol’ FEMINAZI WHORE DURR SAMMICH KITCHEN GRUNT SNORT card out of their collective ass.

    Rock on.

    2/5/2011 at 7:00 pm | permalink
  138. Dustin wrote:

    Fuck Jim Sterling.

    2/6/2011 at 1:39 am | permalink
  139. Rynen10K wrote:

    Why is it every time I decide to check out this site, the comments section just turns into a goddamn wall of shit?

    Fuck you, internet. I just wanted to read some stuff on game design.

    2/6/2011 at 1:54 am | permalink
  140. Paul wrote:

    Daphny was acting like a child and Jim was foolish enough to rise to it.

    Moral of the story: If you decide to get personal and act like a massive jerk towards someone, don’t be surprised if they do the same right back.

    2/6/2011 at 2:54 am | permalink
  141. Tail wrote:

    It wasn’t necessary to try and equate his stupid behaviour with the entire gaming culture to which I belong in your letter. A culture which has been attracting an ever-increasing number of female gamers for years.

    Can you back up your claim this behaviour is the norm for its most public figures? Who /are/ its most public figures? Jim Sterling?

    Nobody comes out of this looking very good.

    2/6/2011 at 4:51 am | permalink
  142. Pete wrote:

    I’m very much a person of equality I don’t care about gender, race or age in anything really. I think the main point here that this was a bit of name calling that went both ways merely just more subtle from one side. If women want to be treated equally they really should roll with the punches a bit better. If I am insulted on the internet by a journalist or whatever who am I going to run to to tell on them? That’s why the fight for equality fails, you don’t want it men don’t run and tell on someone for being mean to them they either ignore them or give as good as they get.

    Writing little letters like this serves only to get more flak shot your way and damages the very reason you wrote it for people like me. Sorry to have to break this to you but those insults were probably meaningless I suspect if you were a man it would have been gay bashing or insulting oyur intelligence or manhood whatever but telling on him just makes you seem the petty ones when you could have just publicised what he said and let the internet realise what a cunt he is.

    2/6/2011 at 6:38 am | permalink
  143. Jaz wrote:

    @Matt W

    Do you have a source for that? You can email it to if you’d be so kind.

    I’m personally glad this wasn’t just a quiet email to the destructoid inbox. I’ve been aware for some time that Jim Sterling was some order of shitty hack, but I had no idea how disgusting he was. If a pussy and a dick had a fight, he’d put the money on the genitals that could rape? What a winner.

    2/6/2011 at 7:35 am | permalink
  144. Dan Rivas wrote:


    Here y’are.

    You can find the quoted passage under “Aliens are giant penises, Predators are giant vaginas”.

    This Jim Sterling seems a lovely chap.

    2/6/2011 at 8:15 am | permalink
  145. Steve Holt wrote:

    I never thought the day would come when I throw my lot in with the Destructoid community, of all people, but there is simply no excuse for trying to sweep the drawing and especially the initial tweet under the rug as ‘insubstantial’. You simply cannot claim the victim status in response to misogyny after using a *different* kind of prejudice to start the argument. Using a less controversial hatred to garner a more controversial hatred in response is not acceptable. And it disgusts me that Daph and Anna keep on trying to wave the flag of feminism, while ignoring their own actions. Claiming the moral high ground in this situation is stupid. Jim’s comments were undoubtedly gendered, but he talks to everyone who he doesn’t like like that. If there were strong, male insults, he would use them. I don’t like the misogyny, but this awful sense of moral righteousness bothers me more.

    As a side note, Jim is married (or was, last time I heard anything about it), so take from that what you will.

    2/6/2011 at 8:44 am | permalink
  146. FASD wrote:

    So the person who started the argument isn’t to blame? Oh please.
    And internet arguments, oh double please.
    People who take the internet this seriously are damned idiots.

    2/6/2011 at 9:22 am | permalink
  147. matt w wrote:

    “Jim’s comments were undoubtedly gendered, but he talks to everyone who he doesn’t like like that.”

    This is not an excuse. If Jim isn’t prejudiced, he shouldn’t use insults directed at a particular group. If you want to be generically hostile to people, use insults that apply to people generically.

    2/6/2011 at 10:36 am | permalink
  148. The King wrote:

    Pete, if you genuinely feel a person is acting in an insulting and unprofessional manner it is better to tell on them then to role over and take it like a man. ;)

    2/6/2011 at 10:51 am | permalink
  149. The King wrote:

    Holt, Do you really think Daphny hates anybody?

    What kind of prejudice would that be? Heterophobia? He is a hetero white male, it would actually be quite difficult to even come up with a prejudice to use against that sort of normative privilege position.

    2/6/2011 at 11:02 am | permalink
  150. HairCute wrote:

    Absolutely vile. I wish such a boring little man hadn’t decided to do something like this but alas…

    2/6/2011 at 11:36 am | permalink
  151. SOMEONE wrote:

    Ultimately, I think the matter of whether Daphny was wrong to use baiting tactics to get a specific rise out of Jim Sterling is moot. That shit could be argued for days, and it wouldn’t get anywhere because there simply is no quantity to observe, no graph to place the moral sanctity of an action over.

    The real problem is this: if someone, in the “workplace” is a misogynist (that is, if Jim Sterling, on Destructoid itself, posts misogynistic pieces), then what good does it do to troll him and then put an Eat At Joe’s sign right over the troll effort? I agree that his words were pathetically misogynistic, but as has been noted, that is what he does.

    Another problem: whenever it’s been brought up that “that’s what Jim Sterling does”, people’s kneejerk reaction has been, “well, that’s not an excuse!” Duh. It’s not brought up as an excuse. What is the pragmatic value of exposing what has already been exposed? Don’t retread over preliminary steps–it’s a waste of time. So now we doubly know that Jim Sterling is a cockpiece, what do we do from there?

    All in all, I’m not disgusted by this event so much as I’m perplexed by the lacking strategy involved. If there’s any desire to advance this problem, Jim Sterling is probably the least effective target, and Daphny’s strategem a less-than-stellar effort. It’s like wanting to prove to the world that Black Mamba venom is fatal, so you go out to the savannah to provoke a Black Mamba, and get bitten. If the lethality weren’t obvious, then people would probably spend less time calling you stupid for getting bitten on purpose.

    So, can we squash this? Again, Jim was a raging dick, and whether Daphny is really playing a victim or not is up for debate, but has this whole fiasco really done anything positive? Also, good luck getting him fired–as I previously stated, if he can get away with it on the site, why would the site get mad that he did it in his own spare time?

    2/6/2011 at 3:13 pm | permalink
  152. BLURP wrote:

    More Jim Sterling fun!

    2/6/2011 at 5:16 pm | permalink
  153. Deacon Blues wrote:

    I would have an easier time sympathizing if you, gender and sexuality completely unrelated, were not the most obnoxious individual on the internet.

    2/6/2011 at 5:57 pm | permalink
  154. A MALE wrote:

    Fuck feminism.

    2/6/2011 at 7:04 pm | permalink
  155. Simon wrote:

    If I understand the progression of events here correctly, and I’m going on what few facts are available to me, Jim Sterling was the target of some kind of idiot lashing out in a manner that would make the GameFAQs forums look adult and respectable. If that’s the case, then I completely understand his reaction, though he could have handled it better. What this looks like to me, some random guy wandering in from the wilds of the internet, is a deliberate attempt from Daphny to provoke just such a response. In that case, your girlfriend is easily the same size idiot as Mr. Sterling. That is to say, we’re dealing with two morons here. Jumbo sized.

    I’m all for gender equality. What I’m not for is manufacturing controversy to push that agenda. It seems to me that there’s plenty of ready-made controversy without ruining some guys reputation.

    2/6/2011 at 7:30 pm | permalink
  156. dupe wrote:

    Neo-feminist checklist:
    [v] Is into weird sexual fetishes and tries to play it off as “cute” or normal.
    [v] Has no sense of accountability, fairness or objective justice.
    [v] Will provke- or use whatever incident possible to further feminist propaganda regardless of how hypocritical it may be or how much it may hurt someone.

    Thanks for securing the last two checkboxes Anna. :)

    2/6/2011 at 10:34 pm | permalink
  157. totallyconfounded wrote:

    How dare a person be okay with their sexuality and discuss it on the internet! HOW DARE THEY!!!!!

    2/6/2011 at 11:22 pm | permalink
  158. dupe wrote:

    There’s nothing wrong with it, of course. I’m more pointing out the militant neo-feminist stereotype of socially awkward women who are being provocative and annoying under the guise of feminism when it’s probably just a way for them to get back at society for not accepting their awkwardness.

    I’ve seen it way too many times before.

    2/6/2011 at 11:31 pm | permalink
  159. Drinky Eyes wrote:

    Have you been conducting studies?

    2/6/2011 at 11:37 pm | permalink
  160. Export wrote:

    I don’t know the details of what happened here, though I know what Jim Sterling can be like, but I can’t help but notice the usual irony and hypocrisy in saying that he’s being a chauvinist and all that.

    Simply because his insults were based on gender – and I’d argue that cunt isn’t really, any more than calling someone “a fucker” is based on their sexual practices – it doesn’t mean he can be instantly undermined as being sexist. I mean an insult is meant to be personal, you can’t really make a politically correct, gender-neutral, totally generic insult.

    The main irony that I mentioned earlier is that if Jim was a girl, it would be OK for him to call a girl a bitch or a slut. But because of his gender, he’s not allowed. A girl calling a girl a bitch is still, supposedly, make a gender-based insult. So you get into a weird catch-22 when you start to make out that it’s wrong to bring someone’s gender into an argument if you’re the wrong gender.

    2/7/2011 at 12:08 am | permalink
  161. Aankhen wrote:

    Gotta love the steady stream of “she was asking for it!” responses. Keep on justifyin’ fellas.

    2/7/2011 at 1:24 am | permalink
  162. Kepa wrote:

    This is the Citizen Kane of comment threads.

    You guys do know that Jim Sterling doesn’t really exist, right? His writing is just done by various Destructoid staff. The guy that appears in pictures/videos is an actor who’s in on it. He’s a collective pseudonym, a way for Destructoid to vent their certain feelings towards women.

    2/7/2011 at 2:51 am | permalink
  163. Ohma wrote:

    Hey now! These esteemed gentlemens are on to you with all your awkwardness and weird kninks and non-standard genitals. These aren’t rank amateurs here, they’ve got seriously an hour or more of experience dealing with your types in the onternets.

    2/7/2011 at 3:01 am | permalink
  164. Jonas wrote:

    “[v] Is into weird sexual fetishes and tries to play it off as “cute” or normal.”

    Translation: “Let’s throw decades of research about human sexuality out the window and claim that a random internet dude gets to define what is ‘normal.’”

    “[v] Has no sense of accountability, fairness or objective justice.”

    Translation: “disagrees with me.”

    “[v] Will provke- or use whatever incident possible to further feminist propaganda regardless of how hypocritical it may be or how much it may hurt someone.”

    Translation: “I’m an Alien Penis and this Predator Vagina is hurting Jim Sterling, my Queen! I mean, King. When you hurt my King, you hurt me! Hypocrite!”

    2/7/2011 at 3:47 am | permalink
  165. The King wrote:

    “[v] Is into weird sexual fetishes
    There are sexual fetishes that aren’t weird? This changes everything!

    2/7/2011 at 5:49 am | permalink
  166. dupe wrote:

    You cannot escape the fact that this is ultimately a case of two pseudo-feminists who are trying to get a guy fired by cherry-picking comments from a fight they’ve started themselves.
    I definitely wouldn’t call what Anna Anthropy is doing a step in the right direction for equal rights. I would call it two weird-ass nutcases who shouldn’t play (or start rather) the game if they can’t handle the consequences.
    I’m not condoning Jim Sterling’s behavior. He seems to be kind of a douchebag, but just look at how Daphne has been acting in this comment thread and everywhere else for that matter. There’s nothing constructive about her annoying and provocative “in-your-face”-behavior. She just wants to stir shit up for the fun of it, and Anna is trying to make a serious cause out of the whole thing.
    How can you get behind a mentality like theirs and feel good about it?

    2/7/2011 at 6:08 am | permalink
  167. Christopher wrote:

    I think you are one of the most forward thinking people in the gaming scene. Your words are usually inspired, and they have inspired me to think about games differently than I used to. This whole argument makes me sad, and your girlfriend is wildly immature. Keep doing what you do!

    2/7/2011 at 8:43 am | permalink
  168. Jaz wrote:

    Say what you will about why he started spouting misogynist crap, the bottom line is that he did. He didn’t have to. He could have called her an asshat or an idiot, he could have even ignored her or laughed off the obvious trolling, but he chose his words and called her a slut. He also asked if she had someone that looked after her – in other words, “are you disabled?”

    It’s not hard to muster a lot of revulsion for Jim. And if you’re the type of person to look across the way to Daphne’s incendiary tweets and blog posts, and think, “well, that’s disgusting too,” be my guest. But it’s beside the point of this open letter, and poking holes in Daphne’s motives isn’t doing anything to weaken Anna’s argument in black and white at the top of this page. Here’s why.

    Pretend it’s two countries at war. Both sides are employing tactics you feel are wrong. Is it okay just because they’re using them against one-another? Because that won’t always be the case. Every day, Jim Sterling is fighting his own little war against women. He might not strike any blows on a given day, but when he writes a sentence that starts “Morons and women may complain that…”, it’s obvious that this is war. A cold war. And in the comment threads, his fans are tittering and parroting him, and they’re growing up to be the judges and cops and district attorneys and witnesses and jurors and neighbours who’ll look the other way when some guy is standing in the dock accused of rape or beating his wife or sexual harassment or whatever. They’re growing up to make games and films and books with weak, emotional, hitchcockian female characters and reinforcing the whole culture. And, most importantly, they’re hopping into games of Black Ops and drawing their insults from the armoury Jim Sterling has unlocked for them: shut up you dumb slut and go suck a cock.

    So yeah, Daphne was mean and whatever. If it was any of my business, if I had any reason to pass judgement on her, I might think that she went too far. She doesn’t have like 2 million views a month, though.

    2/7/2011 at 10:42 am | permalink
  169. Abby D wrote:

    Will you marry me? Not in like an economically coercive way. It’s just that you have just made me fall in love with you and I want to make you breakfast in bed for as long as I live. You might have to share with Daphny and that lady what owns this “auntiepixelante” site whatever her name is.

    2/7/2011 at 10:57 am | permalink
  170. Jaz wrote:

    Respectfully decline. The last thing my carcass needs is an infinite supply of breakfast.

    2/7/2011 at 11:44 am | permalink
  171. dupe wrote:

    JAZ: I see, he deserves to be fired for paving the road for a generation of rapists by calling someone… a slut.

    In my opinion it’s a pretty huge logical jump to call that waging a war against women, but I guess the only person who should be held accountable here is the big bad male!

    2/7/2011 at 12:13 pm | permalink
  172. Ohma wrote:

    Yes. That is exactly what this is about. You, me, and all our other little penis having friends deserve nothing less zan to be bred und SLAUGHTERED FOR ZE GLORY OF ZE VAST FEMINAZI CONSPIRACY WHICH TOTALLY EXISTS ONLY TO RUIN YOU SVINEHUNDS FUN! 8V

    2/7/2011 at 12:27 pm | permalink
  173. Jaz wrote:

    See? Everyone agrees with me.

    2/7/2011 at 12:30 pm | permalink
  174. Django Durango wrote:

    While I agree that posting pictures of people with dildos and whathaveyou is not mature discourse, I think the point to make is that the representatives of our gaming culture (not specifically Sterling, but Destructoid itself definitely counts among them) should be held accountable for who they give audience to and what they publish.

    Although Sterling’s Twitter is his own, he’s apparently been given license by Destructoid to say, on their site, things that are insulting to (at least so far as has been linked here) women and the disabled. So if we want gaming culture to improve and not alienate everyone who doesn’t have able-bodied male privilege, it’s about time they get called out on this. That way Sterling can have his Twitter and say all the dumb shit he wants, but he won’t have the support and implicit approval of Destructoid that they give him by letting him say the same shit when he is, without any gray area for interpretation, representing them by publishing on their site. This is because by doing so, they expressly endorse and therefore perpetuate the ideas and attitudes that he expresses are acceptable.

    While I do think anyone who wants to keep his job wouldn’t be an ass in public when people associate him with his business, I feel Destructoid is only responsible for what he publishes on their site. It’s just that what he publishes there is shitty too and makes them look shitty. And if they don’t want to look shitty, then they should dismiss him from the staff or at least more closely edit his work. You can be controversial and edgy without being a asshole and if he can’t, then that indicates a lack of skill that shouldn’t be paid for or given audience anyway.

    Also, just because he calls both men and women by gendered insults doesn’t make him “equal-opportunity”. The very fact that he commonly uses female insults to denounce everyone speaks to what he thinks of women. If he calls a man a cunt, it’s because he knows it to be a female insult and therefore as damaging to the male ego as, say, being called a homosexual.

    2/7/2011 at 12:32 pm | permalink
  175. brum wrote:

    are you happy auntie? is this what you wanted?

    2/7/2011 at 1:10 pm | permalink
  176. Django Durango wrote:

    Pffffft, hahaha!

    Yeah, are you satisfied, Auntie? I’m sure your letter really hurt Jim Sterling’s feelings. And just think of all his fans! Now they have take time out of their day to come here and mansplain to some uppity women on the internet why his behavior is acceptable. Poor men, being called on their exclusionary, dickheaded rhetoric.


    2/7/2011 at 4:20 pm | permalink
  177. snapman wrote:

    Has anybody been keeping score on this? How many people from one side have had their opinions changed to the other side? What’s the count? If it’s still zero, comment #71 has been proven as fact.

    2/7/2011 at 6:08 pm | permalink
  178. jesus the second wrote:

    hurp durp

    if you start insulting a man and persist to do so calling him an attention seeking homosexual with no friends and a cliche’d and prickish personality what in gods name does one expect.

    she obviousley didn’t expect him to back down, which is clearly reflected in her messages which are often small and numerous, which just act as a giant ‘carry on insulting me, i find this quite fun sighn’

    if she genuineley was offended i feel a little sorry for her, but just remember when insulting a man they will treat you no different from any other person, there are no rules, there is nothing one cant say and perhaps sadly for feminism which women still hold very close to their cores falls under that catagory of ‘everything’

    the only way anti feminism of this kind will stop is when women stop taking such offense by it and that will only happen when the horrible cases of maltreatment of women stop. sadly this seems as if it will take a long time as some men still think it appropriate.

    i feel strongly for the feminism cause and hope that one day feminism will be eradicated.

    but untill that day don’t insult an egotistical male if you are easily offended by anti-feministic jokes, (just like if your overweight and sensitive about it you shoulden’t insult a thin person)

    you may slam that comparison as ‘not being the same, but the same principle applies, it’s a near inevitability.

    (p.s. just so you know i don’t agree with jim’s actions, and personally would never act in such a manor, i just think it’s dumb not to expect it every once in a while if you go around insulting people in that manor)

    pps. i will never class sexism on the same level as racism or deaths as you seem to want it to be, i’m pretty sure about 50% of sexism experienced is just ad hoc logic e.g. ‘ 10 women and 10 men are applying for two high profile positions, 2 men get them, it could be a case of sexism, but more likeley it’s just a consideration of expertise and experience. yet many of the women who applied for the position and failed will blame sexism, just as the cases are with white people often blaming positive discrimination when someone of ethnic minority gets the job, the reason is because the type of people the job attracts are those with high self confidence (the kind of people who think they are the best, they deserve the job) so pass the blame, in the case of many high profile jobs there is also the problem of lack of applications from women, but thats another toipic.

    sorry bout the rant, you just pissed me off with your attempt to get a man fired for simple banter, i think you and your partners personalities are very similar.


    2/7/2011 at 6:40 pm | permalink
  179. ChuckBuried wrote:

    Jesus The Second:

    “the only way anti feminism of this kind will stop is when women stop taking such offense by it”

    Just like the civil rights movement! Things didn’t get better till everyone realized they just needed to turn the other cheek and be “cool with it”!

    In the real world, calling people on their (misogynistic, racist, homophobic, what have you) nonsense is how you show them that that junk is not acceptable.

    2/7/2011 at 9:07 pm | permalink
  180. Sean wrote:

    My favorite part of all this is that someone makes a logical leap from hearing gender slurs to thinking that raping or beating someone is ok. I mean, really, give people some credit.

    Sterling? He said some fucked up shit, but probably shouldn’t be fired for it. I’m not trying to defend him, but he/they were trolling, and it seems that that’s what he does on destructoid anyway.

    2/7/2011 at 10:20 pm | permalink
  181. Ohma wrote:

    A funny thing though, is that in arguments like this it’s usually the people bluh bluhing about being told that what they’re saying is offensive who’re the one’s ‘taking such offense by it’. I mean, yeah, you have people who’re totally pissed off that there’re insensitive jerks on the internet but their responses are pretty regularly limited to a few blogs, and also usually not particularly outrageous.

    However, pretty much any time someone dares say that maybe ‘professional’ ‘journalists’ (or really anyone else) might want to possibly make some amount of effort to be less ass-tastic to people who aren’t them you get tons of whinging and justifying. As though being asked to slightly change your language when people who aren’t in your group of friends are around is some sort of massive inconvenience.

    Seriously I never stop finding this weird in an annoying way. Like, what, are we to believe that if these people were on a bus and were asked very nicely by say a parent in the seat in front of them to not swear around their kid, that they would then launch into a tirade at the parent instead of just not cussing until either the parent or they got off the bus? I’m pretty sure most of them would just not swear because why not?

    Shit, in my expirience even just not acting like an ass when someone asks you not to use a word they find insulting gets you a lot of slack.

    2/7/2011 at 10:29 pm | permalink
  182. dupe wrote:

    What I don’t like about this whole deal though is that people are cheering on two presumed feminists out of which at least one is a total dick (and it’s not Anna). Apparently it’s okay for Daphne to sport a total douchebag mentality and even provoke Jim Sterling, but not for Jim Sterling to insult her back.

    Who cares that he used the word “slut”? It’s not like Daphne’s additions to this drama are more appropriate and couldn’t contextually be interpreted as sexist, homophobic or what have you.

    The REAL problem here is that Anna actually wants to get the guy fired, and for what? For not liking the way he insulted her provocative girlfriend back after getting picked on? How do people not see this as hypocritical and the least possible constructive way to promote feminism in this case?

    2/7/2011 at 11:57 pm | permalink
  183. brum wrote:

    what you all forget is that there is reason why there are 2 genders, and why they are so different. in other words make love, not war

    2/8/2011 at 3:29 am | permalink
  184. brum wrote:

    oh, and I forgot. I think that if Jim simply said sorry, there wouldn’t be such a long discussion

    2/8/2011 at 4:24 am | permalink
  185. visy wrote:

    Just wanted to leave a few kind words of support, but Christopher pretty much said it all:

    “I think you are one of the most forward thinking people in the gaming scene. Your words are usually inspired, and they have inspired me to think about games differently than I used to. This whole argument makes me sad, and your girlfriend is wildly immature. Keep doing what you do!”

    This commentary is filled with childish and ignorant people who clearly have no understanding in the very basics of gender dynamics in the modern, civilized society where there are people who actually see each person as an individual, regardless of gender identification.

    2/8/2011 at 6:15 am | permalink
  186. Django Durango wrote:

    He said some fucked up shit, but probably shouldn’t be fired for it. I’m not trying to defend him, but he/they were trolling, and it seems that that’s what he does on destructoid anyway.

    That’s exactly why he should be fired. Even without the argument for not encouraging a gaming culture that isn’t exclusionary and hostile, from a marketing/PR stand point, they’d have increased readership and maybe even more sponsorship if they didn’t have someone on there telling women and the disabled just how little he thinks of them.

    2/8/2011 at 6:36 am | permalink
  187. Jaz wrote:

    It’s entirely possible to attack Jim Sterling without justifying Daphny.

    Sean said: “My favorite part of all this is that someone makes a logical leap from hearing gender slurs to thinking that raping or beating someone is ok. I mean, really, give people some credit.”

    When someone starts thinking of women as “sluts” then they start looking at rape trials a little differently. Like, maybe she’s just a dumb slut who shouldn’t have been wearing sexy clothes or flirting with the guy who allegedly raped her. You start thinking, I bet this over-emotional, petty, self-centred slut got turned down and just cried rape for revenge. Or maybe they consented like he said and she wanted some more attention.

    Tell me that doesn’t happen. I wasn’t saying Jim’s readers are all out carving the word “slut” on people’s foreheads. Anyway, it’s not the case that Jim suddenly said slut and everyone got angry out of the blue – the guy persistently uses words that you can only use to make women feel small and stupid and horrible. The guy obviously has issues, and he can’t keep them out of his work.

    2/8/2011 at 7:34 am | permalink
  188. dupe wrote:

    You’re adding a lot of connotations based on your personal perception of the guy. If you want to make a case of – and get the guy fired for – being destructively sexist, then be my guest and sift through his articles in an attempt to find something disturbing enough for Destructoid to want to can him, but don’t cheer some asshole on when she picks a fight with him and her girlfriend decides to try to get him fired over the most insignificant, childish and almost hilariously bad insult you could possibly throw back in the heat of the moment… on Twitter.

    The day we decide to nitpick and punish people because we dedect a nuance of political incorrectness in an insult thrown at a malicious troublemaker we’re going to have a royally messed up society. I say “nuance” because it’s not like he used the n-word or something equally pronounced.

    Fighting injustice should be done in a more constructive and fair way. What Anna Anthropy is doing is so atypical for many militant neo-feminists today who will try to get people to bend to their subjective perception of circumstnaces through any means, and they’re not going to do the feminist cause a favor by showing such horrible attitudes and a willingness to completely disregard any sense of accountability in the name of furthering their opinions.

    So again, if you really want to get the guy fired, do it because you’ve found a deeply unsettling and carefully motivated hatred for women with allusions to rape, violence or something equally disturbing or offensive – not because you’ve indirectly perceived him as sexist and he called someone “an attention-seeking little bitch” and “feminazi slut” in response to getting picked on. That’s far from saying “boy, you need a good rape” or even inspiring such thinking, regardless of what you think of the guy.

    2/8/2011 at 8:43 am | permalink
  189. Dustin wrote:

    Anthony Burch was the only reason I read Destructoid, but if they got rid of Sterling the videogam world would be better off without him. He’s a blight on games journalism.

    2/8/2011 at 8:59 am | permalink
  190. brum wrote:

    come on people, we can do it, let’s reach 200th comment, so this topic will be finally hot.

    2/8/2011 at 9:27 am | permalink
  191. Sean wrote:

    No, I don’t think it happens quite that way. I do think that someone who already has that inclination might feel that way, but I think the average person who hears gender/racial/homophobic slurs is either going to giggle (because those kinds of insults can be funny, albeit crude and largely inappropriate) or move on without letting it affect their view of women/racial minorities/gays.

    2/8/2011 at 10:34 am | permalink
  192. jesus the second wrote:


    i don’t think sexism in the western world today is even comparable with the persecution ethnic minorities suffered in America

    also why is a mexican joke allowed or a racially stereotyping joke by a comedian allowed and a sexist one not?

    i personally disagree with both of them and would never joke or banter about either, but i don’t see why sexism should be regarded so highly and cause such a fuss when brought up.

    2/8/2011 at 10:50 am | permalink
  193. Django Durango wrote:

    Loving all these men with opinions on feminism that basically boil down to that we should just shut up. Clearly, they know what’s best for us.

    Put in simple terms, it’s easy not to get why sexism should be regarded so highly when you are a man. It doesn’t hurt or effect you.

    2/8/2011 at 11:09 am | permalink
  194. Django Durango wrote:

    what you all forget is that there is reason why there are 2 genders, and why they are so different. in other words make love, not war

    Haha, did you REALLY just say this on a lesbian’s blog? For real?

    2/8/2011 at 11:23 am | permalink
  195. Ohma wrote:

    Oh I love that argument. Because apparently some people don’t even watch the nature channel to find out just how not different in any way worth mentioning in any context outside a sex ed class the differences between men and women are. Seriously to hear these people talk you’d think humans were like spiders, but not real ones where the males are pretty much just there to be expendable sperm boxes, because that wouldn’t be reinforcing the idea that attitudes toward gender and sex we have are just recent constructs perpetuated by those who benefit from them/people who’ve been taught to accept them their entire lives.

    2/8/2011 at 11:36 am | permalink
  196. Ohma wrote:

    AREN’T just recent constructs >:(

    2/8/2011 at 11:39 am | permalink
  197. brum wrote:

    For real :)

    2/8/2011 at 12:43 pm | permalink
  198. Django Durango wrote:

    Well, I don’t think he meant like that necessarily (I’m positive he didn’t mean it in the way of the old adage that lesbians just need some cock to straighten them out), but I do think it’s pretty indicative of the ignorance a lot of people are bringing to this discussion. To say the least, implying that a lesbian couple should “make love”, metaphorically or otherwise, with men is pretty tasteless.

    If people were less casually offensive, checked their privilege, and paid more attention to the things they say and what the implications of those things are, they wouldn’t have to worry about other people “making war”.

    2/8/2011 at 12:54 pm | permalink
  199. brum wrote:

    only 3 comments to get the magic 200. it’s pretty addictive i tell ya. seriously people, why do you think only about sex? there is my favourite quote from one of the best movies ever: “If a lot of people loved each other the world would be a better place to live.” and what i meant btw is that is easy to hate, but it’s always hard to forgive, and let me repeat, if somebody said sorry, than maybe this discussion wouldn’t be necessary. and it was adressed to every person that read this blog.

    2/8/2011 at 1:23 pm | permalink
  200. Django Durango wrote:

    Maybe you should propose that to Jim Sterling.

    2/8/2011 at 2:18 pm | permalink
  201. brum wrote:

    I am adressing it to anyone who cares and wants to listen. I will always respect auntie, whatever she will do in future. It’s my last comment. I should have ended it long time ago. Only 1 to go! Who will be the lucky one?

    2/8/2011 at 2:23 pm | permalink
  202. ds wrote:

    i always found it curious that despite the feminist talk and the lesbian overtones of the games here, anna is still a pre-op transsexual …

    2/8/2011 at 2:25 pm | permalink
  203. Django Durango wrote:

    Well, I mean that in a practical sense. As a much more public figure than Auntie or Daphny, he has more to gain by apologizing for calling someone who posted hilaribad gay porn of him an inappropriate name.

    2/8/2011 at 3:13 pm | permalink
  204. Anoniguy wrote:


    What’s your point?

    Transsexual is transsexual. Whether you’ve had an operation or not is kind of irrelevant.

    2/8/2011 at 4:00 pm | permalink
  205. The King wrote:

    I honestly would have guessed post-op, but the contents of her pants are none of my business, so… what Anoniguy said I guess.

    Does she have gum in the pockets? I bet she keeps gum and change in the pockets.

    2/8/2011 at 4:44 pm | permalink
  206. J-GANE wrote:

    for as much as ANNA acts enlightened, she has never dropped her giant ego

    2/8/2011 at 5:54 pm | permalink
  207. lazydaze wrote:

    Some idiot provokes someone else on twitter, with a token “you’re gay” insult. This idiot responds to that idiot with some “you’re a slut”.

    All it proves is that there are lots of idiots on the internet. I dont know why you are spreading your girlfriends idiocy further than it needs to go. Whoever is worse in this is up to interpretation, but to a natural observer neither of them look very mature. Daphknee or whatever it is trying to get her girlfriend to get Jim in trouble with his boss, its the internet equivalent of crying to your mummy.

    2/8/2011 at 11:54 pm | permalink
  208. lazydaze wrote:

    Also will you be informing your girlfriends boss that she has been making homophobic remarks on twitter? Anything less is hypocritical.

    2/9/2011 at 2:46 am | permalink
  209. The King wrote:

    Unless Daph writes/speeches for her company, no notsomuch.

    There’s of course also the matter of Jim’s misogyny not being exclusive to twitter, the question of whether or not their remarks were truly on equal footing, and whether friends (and lovers) should be treated equally to ones opponents if all else is equal.

    2/9/2011 at 6:05 am | permalink
  210. The King wrote:

    god, *speaks*. I really need to start looking over my comments before I hit submit.

    2/9/2011 at 6:09 am | permalink
  211. Jay wrote:

    “Misogyny (pronounced /mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred of women.”

    Jim Sterling does not hate women for being women, nor the disabled, nor anything else you in your ineptitude to comprehend and contextualize what you are reading believe him to hate.

    You do not have to like or agree with his opinions or way of expressing himself, but you also do not have the authority to claim as fact what those opinions are (when he has not publicly stated them as such; calling someone something does in fact not represent nor reveal his full stance on either what was used as an insult nor who was insulted*) nor the RIGHT to decide how he may or may not present them.

    (* Many years ago I used “fag” as one of my main insults and random cusswords. One of my best friends, who “came out of the closet”, had and has no problem with this and knows I never actually meant what I technically said sometimes. I did stop using that particular word as it ironically made me feel more uncomfortable than him, but not all of our friends have – and neither of us judge. Just as Jim shouldn’t be condemned for what he’s not only just said in a heated exchange, but in this particular case even been BAITED into saying, as much as people are trying to downplay that “detail”.)

    The only thing I factually know Jim to HATE as he has stated it outright himself (and is obvious to anyone who reads and actually tries to understand him/common sense at all) is exactly what this pathetic “discussion” is filled with – hypocrisy.

    And it is indeed sad to see so much of it here.

    In pathetic attentionwhores* like Daphne who – having purposely instigated and fuelled the whole thing – deserves not a second of pity and is “victim” of nothing worth sweating over (unless you count “mean words” on Twitter which, again, she dishes out of AT LEAST the same caliber).

    (* It appears I have to clarify here that I do not actually believe her to be a prostitute, nor do I have a particular stance or experience with prostitutes.)

    In misguided support by “anna anthropy” whose conflict of interest is severely biasing her argument.

    And in numerous comments here, by people desperately wishing their (also misguided) support makes them seem moral and mature all while being close-minded, uninformed, misinterpretive and as oppressive (albeit in other areas) as what they are condemning.

    But anyway yeah, he’s clearly a complete asshole who should be shot on sight, that’s why he’s been with Destructoid for so long, has so many supporters, does – as has been mentioned – not live alone (in the country he moved to for working with Destructoid) and has raised thousands of dollars multiple times for charity. Ack, if only he weren’t made of pure evil and hatred, maybe he could make the world a better place like you guys :(

    /Someone who has a tattoo and haircut that Jim would ridicule and _who gives a shit

    2/9/2011 at 7:34 am | permalink
  212. lazydaze wrote:

    Here is daphknees original harrasment against Jim

    Pretty weird stuff. Both Dahpknee and auntie pixelante sound like creepy stalkers by their behaviour. You dont just send those type of pictures to people.

    2/9/2011 at 8:21 am | permalink
  213. funk wrote:

    I really have a hard time seeing the misogyny in those tweets. He’s calling her “slut”, “cunt” and “bitch” for a reason: To insult her back after a rather nasty personal attack.

    It seems pretty strange to call him out on not being PC in his insults. Insults aren’t supposed to be neutral, they’re supposed to be, well, insulting. They’re not nice things, nor are they supposed to be.

    But misogyny it is not. The worst you can accuse him of is a lack of inventiveness. “Cunt” is such a pedestrian insult.

    2/9/2011 at 9:13 am | permalink
  214. Jay wrote:

    …had I seen LAZYDAZE’s link earlier I wouldn’t have bothered posting. Daphne has no place calling anyone anything, and anyone defending her… what a bad joke.

    Hope you enjoyed the traffic though, well done.

    2/9/2011 at 9:45 am | permalink
  215. bobaloo wrote:

    After seeing pictures of Anna Anthropy, I have come to the conclusion that she and Jim Sterling are one in the same, and that this is an ingenious conjob for hits.
    Well played.

    2/9/2011 at 10:13 am | permalink
  216. Nick wrote:

    If you say Daphny was wrong, then you are a mysoginistic bastard that needs to die.
    And if you are a mysoginistic bastard, all your arguments are invalid, and the person you are argumenting with will always be right of whatever they are saying.

    2/9/2011 at 11:17 am | permalink
  217. The King wrote:

    Jay, Then it’s a good thing you didn’t see LAZYDAZE’s like earlier, considering you’ve posted the best post for your side of the debate by far.

    The definition of misogyny you’ve posted is a bit lacking. It’s basically a literal transliteration of it’s etymological origin (Greek). A better definition of the actual meaning would be ‘sexist prejudice against women, found mostly in male-dominated societies.’ that’s paraphrasing author Allan Johnson.

    It’s not that they have no interest in women (which is I’m guessing is how some have interpreted the term, considering the ‘he’s married defense’) rather that by making comments, ‘jokes’ and insults that serve to degrade women, place them lower then men in the social order, he is contributing to the oppression of women in a patriarchal society.
    In this particular case the insulated ‘boy’s club’ nature of contemporary videogame culture offers him the ability to make comments that would lead to security escorting his ass to the curb in any more respectable industry.

    2/9/2011 at 4:15 pm | permalink
  218. Jay wrote:

    The post was way too long already without going into further detail on what misogyny means, heh. Still I think the “he’s married defense” holds some merit (whatever the amount; honestly just threw it in there because why not) regardless of misogynists still potentially being interested in women since, eh, it takes two to tango.

    And again; your paraphrase is fine (I assume) and ho boy “contributing to the oppression of women in a patriarchal society” sounds horrible but that’s just it; it SOUNDS _so_ freakin’ horrible and despicable but it is (intentionally or not) wordsmithery misrepresenting and overinflating what happened. It also (again, intentionally or not) potentially tricks people into thinking that those are his standards, goals and something he supports which is not neccessarily (and “knowing” Jim I would almost dare say definitely not) true at all.

    He has said something in a, to quote anna anthropy, “misogynist tone”, but that does not make him one, ESPECIALLY not when it was clearly used as retaliation to same-level attacks by what IS, let’s be 100% honest, “an attention-seeking little bitch”. I might agree “Feminazi slut” would be taking it too far, except _they were already there_. In a Twitter conversation and as retaliation to shit like “you’re a closeted homosexual who covers it up with misogyny” (the card already pulled at that point) I honestly call fair game. It IS unfortunate that while it is a one-on-one conversation it’s there publically for everyone to see, but it was not Jim who initially chose that platform.

    But again, he said those things and it’s not _wrong_ to point that out – but it’s like saying “I was horrified to find that David Bowie used to spread disease, disability and death all while slowly killing himself publicly and being a negative influence on coming generations potentially doing the same” and yeah, that’s factually _true_ but holy shit. He just enjoyed his cigarettes.

    Smoking is a problem, misogyny is a problem. We all bloody agree and there’s no argument there. But in regards to _THE PROBLEM_ at the scope you’re now talking about, you’re going to accomplish _fuck all_ (except maybe feel good about yourself for a minute?) by going after Jim.

    And that’s not meant to be a weak attempt at defending him by saying “you (likely) can’t stop something like misogyny by stopping a single practitioner so eh, might as well not try”. What I mean is that if you really care so strongly and your cause is just (and not, say, really just defending your troll girlfriend) you should REALLY spend that time and effort better than on a case where… Well, it’s been said so many times, but as a final recap:

    - The “victim” intentionally started and escalated the whole mess all the way
    - The “bad guy” is not likely an actual misogynist (and the things he said were hardly meant to oppress women worldwide; they were baited personal – albeit public – responses of comparable caliber) but rather someone who is simply not afraid to call you a cunt if you are being one
    - Nobody would have given two shits about this (and I mean that in the best possible way; as in no “misogynist tone” being spread) had this post of questionable motivation not been made

    Running way too long again but in closing, most people I see getting pissed off at Jim either 1. have trouble understanding or accepting humor on the internet (in which the often clever British brand stands in a league of its own), 2. can’t accept honest opinions (Jim’s reviews, anyone?) or 3. think he’s not being “professional journalist!!!” enough when he couldn’t make it clearer that he’s JUST AN HONEST BLOGGER.

    I see this mess as mostly a mix of all of the above. Jim-haters (several examples in the above posts) who don’t like his reviews or (get?) his humor articles on Destructoid chiming in that he’s probably an asshole here when being “unprofessional” and harsh – but honest and, at least in my opinion, fair – to a troll being a troll on Twitter. It might not even have had anything to do with gender or sex hadn’t Daphny been ALL about that and personal insults from the get-go (and as far as I can see on her migraine-inducing website, this is pretty much who she is).

    Found this way too late and it has pretty much died down (as it should) so as fun as it is to discuss with you THE KING (I mean it) I’ll take my own advice and go waste my time and energy on something subjectively better like videogames. :) Peace !

    2/10/2011 at 7:56 am | permalink
  219. Jonas wrote:

    “been BAITED into saying, as much as people are trying to downplay that “detail””

    Funny how you claim people were trying to downplay it when in fact it was pretty much my main argument.

    2/10/2011 at 11:24 am | permalink
  220. Jay wrote:

    Which is why I said “people” and not “everyone” or “JONAS”.

    Said I wasn’t going to post at all but alright, a quickie: Unless you’re an undercover law enforcer, I strongly disagree with your stance that “What Daphny did” is “a perfectly reasonable tactic”.

    Unless you’re unfamiliar with the internet you should know that the number one reason (aside from anonymity) there are so many trolls and why they think it’s so fun is because _it’s so easy_ to make people angry and say things that make them look stupid / bad.

    You can’t manipulate people into doing something and then fairly say what they did represents what kind of people they are.

    They say “opportunity makes the thief” and honestly, you could “make” a thief out of almost anyone if you manipulate their situation in that direction. Doesn’t mean the guy you’re fucking with would normally ever steal something or is even a bad guy at all.

    2/10/2011 at 2:58 pm | permalink
  221. Santiago wrote:

    Worth pointing out that if the argument for Daphny using what can be perceived as homophobic remarks is that it was a rhetorical tactic or that she otherwise had a further objective, the same can be said about Dickhead’s (hope that doesn’t get labeled as misandry, oh my) supposedly misogynistic attitude; he was retaliating with what he felt would be most effective. Insults aren’t meant to be politically correct as far as I know.* I think both accusations are ridiculous. Basically: context, context, context.

    This has been blown completely out of proportion. I don’t see more than two morons moroning it out in Moronland. While reading the exchange I found it hard to believe it wasn’t taking place in YouTube comments. One of them played the I TRICKED YOU card (even if it was pre-meditated, she did act like an attention-seeking… person? Is that okay now? Because I reckon it wasn’t the “bitch” part that was relevant and I imagine it could’ve easily been replaced with “jerk”, “prick”, “asshole”, “dick”, etc. had it been directed at a man, no?) and dragged an understandably concerned loved one into this infantile bullshit. What was next? “My [parent] can beat up your [parent]“?

    I think you rock, Anna, and I hope you find no disrespect in my comment. I also hope that so called “gamer culture” suffers a shift into a more tolerant, less teenage-boy dominated state (and I think the keyword is “teenage”). Dickhead’s just a symptom of that, no reason to get the guy fired (especially over this). It is because he is that it’s more profitable for him to be glaringly politically incorrect, as opposed to what someone somewhere in here claimed.

    I think I’ve extended myself long enough and I will blame any inaccuracies or clumsiness on the medium or the fact that english isn’t my first language; feel free to YELL at my message, though.

    *It could be argued that the relation between each one’s objective and their means is different and I agree, but I only meant to indicate that logic works for everyone. So does reductionism, unfortunately.

    2/11/2011 at 2:55 pm | permalink
  222. Santiago wrote:

    Also, DRAMA.

    2/11/2011 at 2:57 pm | permalink
  223. Django Durango wrote:

    It is because he is that it’s more profitable for him to be glaringly politically incorrect, as opposed to what someone somewhere in here claimed.

    This is erroneous. Destructoid has plenty of writers who make them money without being assholes. The only reason Sterling is being defended so vehemently is not because anyone would really miss him insulting people for being things that have nothing to do with their objections to him so much as that by holding him accountable for his behavior, the people who act similarly because he and people like him tell them it is okay to, have to accept that their actions are also unacceptable.

    And that’s just horrible for them.

    2/13/2011 at 7:58 pm | permalink
  224. Jonas wrote:

    “Which is why I said “people” and not “everyone” or “JONAS”.”

    So when you said

    “as much as people are trying to downplay that “detail””

    you really meant

    “as much as a few individuals here are not putting enough emphasis on that aspect, and disregarding the fact that several people are quite aware of it and are in fact using it as the main point of their arguments.”

    Because somehow I got the impression that by saying “people” you were basically saying “everyone,” in a vaguely conspiratorial sort of sense, implying that there is a general tendency in this discussion to ignore important facts about Daphny’s behaviour. Which there isn’t.

    2/14/2011 at 10:08 am | permalink
  225. Jay wrote:

    No, I meant what I said – no more, no less. Fancy that.

    Dead horse is decidedly dead, removing bookmark. Nice talking to the few of you that were left, peace.

    2/14/2011 at 11:08 am | permalink
  226. BCS wrote:

    Well, I don’t read Destructoid in the first place so nothing lost there…

    2/15/2011 at 9:40 am | permalink
  227. hahaha fucking cunts can’t manage equality and rely on vicitimisation and whining to get their way because they’re too fat to use their bodies to entice and coerce

    2/15/2011 at 11:32 am | permalink
  228. zombie poster wrote:

    To the regular readers who didn’t understand the inundation of “stop being a whiny, irrelevant bitch” posts, you have Border House’s RSS to thank for the link back to where comments weren’t suppressed.

    If Border House hadn’t followed the censorship hammer by linking to this page, I probably wouldn’t have been pissed off enough to hunt down the original post and vent. <3

    Props to the blog owner, though. Takes balls to leave a thread up where the majority is telling you that they think you're full of shit. Wait, was that sexist? What's Lesbian-speak for "balls"?

    2/16/2011 at 1:42 am | permalink
  229. SPORK wrote:

    @nick: daphny was wrong

    2/22/2011 at 5:36 pm | permalink
  230. Michael Weiss wrote:

    I like this because I think Jim Sterling is a fat fuck who gives terrible reviews.

    I agree misogyny is bad and I am unsurprised that he is also another kind of fuck other than the sort of fuck aforementioned.

    But I am primarily liking this because I find Jim Sterling to be a fat fuck who makes terrible reviews. Also hates the PC platform, which I am partial to.

    3/1/2011 at 6:11 pm | permalink
  231. daphny wrote:

    hey guys guess who gave the ceo of destructoid THE VERY DRAWING THAT STARTED ALL OF THIS


    and guess whos pitching for a he said she said article with jim




    me again

    thread overrrr

    3/4/2011 at 7:44 pm | permalink
  232. busterbeam wrote:

    responding to an ancient internet shitstorm that i only now came across but wow lol @ his “I WAS ONLY BEING SEXIST BECAUSE YOU SILLY WOMEN EXPECT ME TO” retort

    this ‘people treat me like an animal so i will shit on the floor’ thing is childish as hell (so pretty much par for the course)

    3/20/2011 at 10:49 pm | permalink
  233. Meowlaise wrote:

    Jim Sterling? Monumental ass. A caveman embodying every gamer stereotype you can possibly imagine. A horrible man who should have had his internet privileges revoked long ago.

    But there are many like him.

    Destructoid, however? What I find so very baffling is that they still have not fired him. Have they even given him a warning? Have they once told him that it’s not Ok to act like a misogynist fuck? His chauvinist tendencies are nothing new, so the only conclusion you can draw is that Destructoid shares, or at the very least has nothing against his views.

    Judging from the Destructoid community and many of the commenters in this thread….. this is valid theory.

    4/3/2011 at 11:13 am | permalink
  234. Saint Drake wrote:

    I’ve seen the original picture and post Daphny sent. The fact you felt wronged by the reaction you received is a joke.

    There are people that sit and take it but nobody has the right to bully and insult someone like Daphny did.

    I’m not a huge fan of Jim’s blunt attitude and views but he’s certainly not a sexist or misogynist. Your hate campaign against him and campaign to get him fired based on misleading info was deplorable as well, shame on you.

    4/8/2011 at 7:02 am | permalink
  235. RobertP wrote:

    I think the best way to handle guys like that is a combination of thoughful writing and all-out mockery. Both bases seem to be covered.

    It’s a bit difficult, sometimes it seems identifying yourself as a feminist is considered an act of self-marginalization. If you point out casual sexism, you ‘whine’ and you’re met with apologism and defensiveness. Which is sad, because it’s a very interesting topic that deserves debate and analysis.

    Looking at the comments, there apparently is some room for discussion. And the popularity of this blog proves there’s room for people who are nothing like Jim Sterling in the (indie)game community.

    Keep on rocking, Auntie.

    4/12/2011 at 4:49 am | permalink
  236. daphny wrote:


    4/13/2011 at 12:04 am | permalink
  237. Sarah wrote:

    Wow. What a fucking tool. This Jim dude is clearly so gay he would wear dildos and have some dude jump on him. Which is totally not homophobic to say.

    It’s all been said before, the guy clearly needs to be fired from Destructoid – not for reacting childishly with mock misogyny to childish pseudo-homophobia, but for being a fucking tool who writes shitty, sexist, sex obsessed articles.
    But that doesn’t justify your childish homophobia nor make him a misogynist for responding with equivalently offensive insults. Fail for both of you.

    4/21/2011 at 7:25 am | permalink
  238. Donald K Punchovich wrote:

    So many people so missing the point. Whether or not he was baited, he acted like a misogynistic ass and that’s just not cool. Daphny didn’t carry herself like a pro by any stretch, but what she did didn’t suddenly turn Jim into something he wasn’t before she came along. This is Jim folks, and one of the many reasons why he’s only worth ignoring if he’s worth considering at all.

    4/26/2011 at 11:19 pm | permalink
  239. RobertP wrote:

    Keep on rocking, Daphne.

    5/11/2011 at 6:23 am | permalink
  240. RobertP wrote:

    correction: Keep on rocking, Daphny.

    5/11/2011 at 6:25 am | permalink
  241. Satan wrote:

    Your girlfriend should take responsibility for her actions. She knocked down a hornet’s nest, got stung, and her SO is now blaming all hornets for stinging people who antagonize them. Ironic and great use of time. There’s nothing like a tearfest to incite people to a cause. Especially a self-created one.

    5/11/2011 at 8:04 pm | permalink
  242. daphny wrote:

    here go people again with the crying nonsense

    5/12/2011 at 2:38 pm | permalink
  243. CommanderCuntRocket wrote:

    Post a video of you and your girlfriend and we’ll forget this ever happened, but only if you’re both hot feminazis.

    Also, your decision to never use correct grammar or punctuation (hi period!) makes Baby Jesus sad. :’(

    6/30/2011 at 10:34 pm | permalink
  244. cain wrote:

    Your GF is a homophobic jerk. Calling on Jim for being a virgin loser and using Gay as a both a slur and a sexual preference is another low. She’s just a butthurt feminazi.

    But Jim acted like a big man-child with how he handled her.

    7/24/2011 at 7:13 am | permalink
  245. Sean wrote:

    do you need a handkerchief now?

    also, from the screens linked, i see that this daphne started talking about genitals, so why should Jim not have jumped on the train?

    why do you have to emphasise that you are a woman? does you status as a human being not suffice? do you need -or even worse: deserve- special treatment because of that?

    7/24/2011 at 9:28 am | permalink
  246. Jim got trolled.

    Your girlfriend is still a stupid-as-rocks cunt.

    Calling her a retard and a cunt isn’t an insult, it’s stating a fact. She needs medical help (potentially euthanasia), not white knight blog posts.

    Both of you grow the fuck up.

    7/24/2011 at 9:38 am | permalink
  247. I assume that the person claiming that Jim Sterling’s work is an example of clever British humour is American.

    7/26/2011 at 3:41 am | permalink
  248. fuck jim sterling wrote:

    Jim Sterling needs to be taken out back and smacked with a stick until the stupid is beaten out of his potato head

    2/28/2012 at 2:42 pm | permalink
  249. FAGATRON wrote:


    3/1/2012 at 8:38 am | permalink
  250. FAGATRON wrote:

    goodnight and potato to you all

    3/1/2012 at 8:39 am | permalink
  251. 1234 wrote:

    Fucking hell does Daphny actually have brain damage? You’re an illegible fucking cunt and a disgrace to women everywhere. Simply self victimising scum that shake a hornets nest then cry for attention when they get stung.

    You and your stupid fucking girlfriend need to be put down.

    3/5/2012 at 7:04 pm | permalink
  252. HughLeopard wrote:

    I find this whole thing ironic considering Jim Sterling is both bisexual and mentally indentifies as a woman.

    3/20/2012 at 4:53 pm | permalink
  253. Jimmy Russel wrote:

    Who gives a fuck about some piece of shit blogger like Jim Sterling?

    Ignore the loser. He’s hiding behind the internet.

    7/1/2012 at 6:31 am | permalink

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