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lazer bitches

klik of the month snuck up on me this month. (i thought it was next week.) but fortunately i was able to come up with a terrible game idea just in time!

i finished reading through hitmen for destiny this past week. there’s a pretty good GAME THEORY stand-off in that comic between two characters armed with pistols. one of the pistols is loaded with bullets, the other with blanks. neither character is willing to fire her gun, naturally, because there’s a fifty-fifty chance of revealing her opponent’s gun to be the lethal one. i wanted to make a game about a stand-off.

LAZER BITCHES is a game for two players. each player is a LAZER BITCH armed with a LAZER GUN. but a LAZER BITCH also has the reflexes of a JAGUAR. if one LAZER BITCH fires, the other will immediately retaliate! one player uses the arrow keys and one uses wasd, but they both share the shoot button, the spacebar. the overlapping controls make the game reminiscent of my earlier this little piggy.

thanks to radix for the flash version. get a friend and play LAZER BITCHES. that is what we call FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.

other games this month: spindleyq collaborated with his almost-four-year-old to produce a game about a chimp riding a unicorn to a castle on pluto, and L made a variation on my knife-tossing game that replaces the knives with feathers, which is the kind of edit i’m jealous of not having thought of.


  1. Tank wrote:

    Yes. Hitman for Destiny. Evan Dahm sent me there, and I regret reading it one bit. Not enough people have read it.

    The best part of Lazer Bitches my sis and I have had so far is the pumping music. Also, fighting over the space bar.

    9/17/2011 at 11:07 pm | permalink
  2. Tank wrote:

    You know how when you leave out a single “not,” the meaning of a sentence can change completely? Yeah, me too.

    9/17/2011 at 11:08 pm | permalink
  3. auntie wrote:

    the music is SEX DWARF. covered by scooter, the guy who makes every jumpstyle song. in midi format.

    9/18/2011 at 3:30 am | permalink
  4. L wrote:

    Dess use your clout to get Thecatamites to make a Hitmen For Destiny clay AGS fangame, TIA.

    9/18/2011 at 4:27 am | permalink
  5. ggn wrote:

    Yes, hitmen for destiny. I remember clicking this link from auntie’s twitter feed yesterday. And kept reading. And reading. Thank you ma’am for making my Saturday vanish :) (I completed reading it this morning after I woke up)

    In any case, it’s a pretty evil concept for a game. Next step would be each player controlling the other’s fire button? Maybe with reflecting bullets coming right at him?

    P.S. also maybe that stalemate situation in the comic could be done in a game?

    9/18/2011 at 5:17 am | permalink
  6. auntie wrote:

    reflecting walls is a good fucking idea for this game, actually. i may add them.

    9/18/2011 at 1:22 pm | permalink
  7. Rynen10K wrote:

    Dang, how have you guys finished that comic already? I just got to the part with the fake “Rolf”. I’m a slow reader, I guess :\

    Also, I’m playing all the KoTM’s tonight when my brother gets back from work so I can have a 2nd player for Lazer Bitches haha :) I love the idea about the space bar :O

    9/18/2011 at 5:44 pm | permalink
  8. matt w wrote:

    Thanks for the pointer to Hitmen for Destiny. That was great.

    9/18/2011 at 6:52 pm | permalink
  9. auntie wrote:

    OKAY, i updated the game with four new screens that include REFLECTING WALLS.

    9/20/2011 at 11:48 am | permalink
  10. o0o wrote:

    fuck yes Hitmen for Destiny! that Thorsby is a mad genius.

    9/20/2011 at 2:58 pm | permalink

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