nintendo’s animal crossing is a series of games in which players settle in and inhabit videogame villages; over the course of typically years, players maintain the town, find ways to earn money, buy and sell possessions, remodel and decorate their homes, assemble and design wardrobes, and interact with a revolving cast of animal neighbors. in addition to service characters that appear in every animal crossing town, there are 210 different animal characters in animal crossing, divided across 34 different species, who can move into a town as residents – up to eight at a time. these characters will talk to, trade with, and solicit work from the player characters, who live in the animal town as humans.
rule 34 is a long-standing internet folk rule: “if it exists, there’s porn of it.” rule 34 is also a website, rule34.paheal.net (warning: it’s full of fucking porn), that collects porn of videogame characters, cartoons and etc. it contains a lot of porn of the characters from animal crossing. but which ones? who’se the most popular? which neighbors have had the most smut drawn of them? which animal leads the most active sex life? i decided to tally the animal crossing images on the site to see which animal crossing characters and species are the most desired.
it’s not surprising that the characters who appear in every player’s town – which i call the “natives” – are popular. the able sisters, who run the seamstress shop in every town where the player buys and designs clothes and accessories, and tom nook, who runs the general store and acts as the player’s landlord, have a lot of smut drawn of them. k.k. slider, who appears in every town but only a single night each week, and harriet, who maintains a hair salon either in an adjacent city or in a department store that doesn’t appear until late in the game (depending on which version of animal crossing is being played), are much less popular.
it’s interesting that sable able is overwhelmingly the most popular character in animal crossing porn, with 59 images: in the game, she initially ignores the player outright, focused silently on her work, but she gradually opens to the player about herself after many repeat visits over the course of many days. this intimacy between the player and character that develops only after a long period of time and active pursuit seems to be reflected in a huge amount of player desire, in the form of smutty drawings starring the character.
among the “villagers” – the characters who rotate, so that not all players will experience each of them – the ones who appear in the animal crossing movie, and thus have a life and visibility outside the game, are among the most popular. margie the elephant (34 images), rosie the cat (30), and whitney the wolf (26) all appear in a lot of porn. but none of these characters appear as often as tangy the cat, who appears in 36 smutty pictures. tangy’s popularity likely comes a combination of her distinctive, memorable design (she has puckery orange fruit skin and a tangerine leaf for hair) and the fact that she’s a cat.
cats are overwhelmingly the most popular species in animal crossing porn, appearing even more often human participants. cats, wolves and bunnies, species that are sexualized in our culture (or at least to which we attribute sexual characteristics) are the most desired. there’s more elephant pictures than rabbit, probably owing largely to the character margie from the movie: ranked by how many individuals from each species appear in porn (and not counting “native” characters like katrina the fortune-telling cat), cats come in first, followed by bunnies, squirrels, dogs and bears (7), wolves and horses (6), and then by elephants with just 4 different characters.
finally, let’s talk about humans. gender-wise, i counted 58 images of boy humans and 53 images of girls. that’s 111 total, though that’s a little inaccurate, as some images contain both girl and boy humans. i only counted human characters who had obvious signifiers that they were the human characters from animal crossing rather than just human beings: the strongest signifiers for boys are hats with horns, the strongest for girls are striped socks and pointy hairstyles. the boys are often less developed or detailed, when they function as stand-ins for a male artist or intended male audience.